I don’t have much time to chat today, due to my continued inability to keep up with my work hours. Therefore, I shall share the two new gorgeous pieces of fan art that the incomparable Celeste DeWolfe created for me whilst I was off crusin’, and then I shall share the song I’m currently listening to on repeat, because why not, and then I shall bid you all adieu. So …
Fan Art #1: Eris Steps Out of the Shower
Fan Art #2: Eris is Abducted
The Current Song I’m Listening to on Repeat:
Adieu!
As I promised yesterday, today I bring you the latest silliness from iUniverse. You’re actually very lucky, because I have not one, but two bits of silliness to share with you today. Ready?
Silliness #1: Incorrect Genre Classification
This one is probably a clerical error, but it’s a very silly, uniquely iUniverse error. Imminent Danger is a YA sci-fi book. That’s not a particularly difficult genre to remember, right? And yet, the vast majority of online retailers do not have it listed as YA sci-fi. It’s either children’s lit, or fantasy, or … God, I don’t even know.
This is a direct result of iUniverse mis-reporting the genre when they initially sent out my book back in January. As I find these incorrect genres, I send iUniverse a note asking them to fix it. And they’re happy to do it … with a 6-8 week processing time for the changes to take effect. Really? 6-8 weeks? I’m fairly confident that if I had direct control over my book, I could just pop onto the Amazon site, change the genre setting, and have it resolved within ten minutes.
So silliness #1 is iUniverse failing to submit my book under the correct genre, and then taking forever and a day to fix it. Sigh.
Update March 4, 2013: I just got a call from iUniverse, asking if my genre classification issue had been resolved. I explained the situation, and the lady was very helpful. She said that she would look into the problem and make sure that all the retailers have the correct genre information. So yay to iUniverse for following through!
Silliness #2: Overpriced Author-Discounted Books
When you publish a book, you want physical copies in hand to be able to hawk to passersby. iUniverse offers authors special discounts on buying books, which is basically the list price minus your author royalties, with a higher percentage off the list price based on how many copies you buy at a time. That last sentence probably made no sense. Here’s the table I whipped up to figure out how much my hardcover books will cost, per unit, purchased from iUniverse:
I wanted about 50 hardcover to start off with. 50 hardcover, as you can see, works out to $20.77 per unit. Bear with me.
Chapters.Indigo.ca recently put out a 10% discount coupon for their site. The hardcover of Imminent Danger is listed at $23.72 — $22.53 with my member discount card. ((Note that the book cover is still not shown on this site — this will also take 6-8 weeks for iUniverse to “fix”)).
Now, I get approximately $3 per hardcover sold in royalties. So. 50 books from iUniverse at $20.77 + shipping = $1181.19. 50 books from Chapters.Indigo.ca at $22.53 (plus 10% discount), minus ~150 for royalties I’ll get back, plus free shipping, plus tax = ~$995 (give or take).
That’s about $200 in savings by ordering books from Chapters.Indigo.ca instead of the company that’s producing the darn things.
Plus there’s the weird side effect that those sales will actually count towards Imminent Danger’s sales ranking on Chapters.Indigo.ca. Not what I intended, but … I guess a higher ranking isn’t something to complain about, right?
Now, to be fair, I did contact iUniverse to see if my calculations were correct, because I couldn’t believe that such a thing would be possible. The very nice gentleman I spoke with ran through the calculations with me, and concluded that, yes, it would be cheaper to buy them from a third-party source. He offered to give me a slightly higher discount, but with the cost of shipping, Chapters.Indigo.ca still worked out as being cheaper.
Silly, iUniverse. Very silly.
The only reason I can think they wouldn’t bend over backward to convince authors to buy directly from them is if they make the same amount of money off each book regardless of where the book is bought from. That seems like a strange business plan to me — buying direct from the source should always be cheaper, shouldn’t it? And it is cheaper if, as you’ll see in the above chart, you buy 250+ books. But who has that kind of money? I certainly don’t.
In conclusion …
iUniverse continues to be delightfully silly. I’m not too miffed with them, because I don’t think the incorrectly filed genre is going to hurt me too much over the next few weeks (hopefully), and I did find a way around their bizarre pricing scheme. I’ve actually started to really enjoy seeing what silliness they come up with next.
The next step in fulfilling my contract is getting my book into a local Chapters store for 8 weeks. I’m sure there’ll be lots of silliness involved with that. Stay tuned!
Unrelated video of the day:
Get ready for the crazy.
In Japan, there is a pop star named Hatsune Miku who is entirely computer generated — voice, appearance, everything. And she’s insanely popular. Here’s the wikipedia page on her. Here’s a video of her live, in concert … despite her not actually being alive. I believe holograms are involved.
I live!!!
My Caribbean cruise getaway was a great success. There was much beach lounging and Mayan ruins visiting and buffet gorging to be had. And I got lots of writing done, which was fantastic. I also got verbally lambasted by my mother for my current WIP having such a slow start that she was bored to tears. So I guess it’s back to the drawing board on that one. Ah well. Can’t win ’em all!
I have a gazillion things to catch up on, so today’s post will be short. I just wanted to say hi to everyone, let you know I’m back, and that I’ll be digging through the last week of your blog posts just as soon as I get my life back in order.
Oh yes, and Blackbird LSD, an indie publicity company based out of California, was kind enough to host an author interview with me over on their site. Check it out here.
Here’s their logo, which is just adorable with the little birdies and whatnot:
Pictures from the vacation will be uploaded whenever my mother gets around to loading them on her computer. So … anywhere from two hours to two months. Stay tuned!
Unrelated media of the day:
There is an entire website devoted to Justin Timberlake doing things — http://justintimberlakedoingthings.tumblr.com/. And just when I thought the internet couldn’t get more awesome.
One of my personal favourites:
Book prep for a cruise, you ask? What exactly am I prepping? Am I booking something, or am I prepping a book? Ahhhh!
Okay. First of all, calm down. You really need to stop panicking every time you read a blog post.
Secondly, I am, of course, talking about prepping a book to bring along on my Super Special Awesome Caribbean Cruise. I’m going with my mother and brother, starting in New Orleans, headed down the coast of Mexico to Cozumel, Belize City, etc. It’s going to be epic. But I digress.
When we booked the cruise back in January, my master plan was to have the sequel to Imminent Danger — whimsically entitled Chasing Nonconformity — finished and printed for mother to peruse at her leisure on our relaxing jaunt around the Caribbean. As of today, I still have the second half of the story to re-write. So that’s not going to work.
So instead I said to myself: “Michelle,” I said, “Why not print out another book you’ve written and make your mother read that instead? Surely she has nothing better to do on her vacation than read your latest questionable attempt at literature.”
Und hence, I present to you photographs of the printed-out version of The Elemental Guard, the YA fantasy novel (think Harry Potter meets Avatar the Last Airbender) I wrote a year or two ago. You will notice that the manuscript is stupidly thick. This is because I checked the single-sided box instead of the double-sided box on the Staples website, and they obliged me accordingly. Observe:
Front view of the massive manuscript, complete with inscription to my mother. I dread getting the manuscript back. I hate editing. Sigh.
Side view of the manuscript. It’s about 2 inches thick. Yikes.
Jedi Armen guards / sits on the manuscript. Rawr!
In unrelated news …
I will be hosting an author interview with Kathi Schwengel tomorrow (Valentine’s Day!), as part of her blog hop for her new book, First of Her Kind. Stay tuned for that!
And then I’m gone on my cruise until next Sunday, so that’s why you won’t be hearing from me. Frantic calls to the police regarding my disappearance from the blogosphere are therefore appreciated, but unnecessary.
Unrelated video of the day:
Hugh Grant’s finest moment in film history:
We’ll start with the best first: Muffins!
I would like to share with you possibly my favourite joke of all time. I’m pretty sure everyone and their pet llama has heard this one, but whatever, I still think it’s hilarious:
Two muffins are sitting in a microwave. The microwave turns on.
The first muffin looks at the second muffin and says, “Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?”
The second muffin looks at the first muffin and screams, “OH MY GOD! A TALKING MUFFIN!”
He he he …
Right. Moving on to: Bookmarks!
In my continuing attempts to spend all my time thinking up marketing strategies for Imminent Danger instead of, say, actually doing my job and getting paid, I hit upon the idea of printing out massive amounts of bookmarks and leaving them randomly around town.
I found a site called nextdayflyers.com that claimed to be able to sell me 1000 bookmarks for a crazy-low sum like $60. I was sold. So I created a kick-bottom bookmark, which I shall now share with you in all it’s bookmarky glory:
Aren’t they gorgeous? Don’t they just make you want to run outside in the freezing cold in your bare feet and dance around in the snow exulting in the wonder of life?
Exactly. So I sent in the design files and paid the $60. I was a bit surprised that there was no charge for shipping, but I figured they were just doing one of those “Order over X amount of money and we’ll ship it for free!” promotions like other online companies do.
I was decidedly misinformed.
Three days later, I get a call from nextdayflyers.com. The nice man on the phone greets me, tells me my bookmarks are printed and ready to be shipped, and then says, “It will be $65 for customs and shipping, so I’ll just go ahead and charge that to your VISA, shall I?”
My response, obviously, was “Hell no.” It is absolutely ridiculous that an online company would not charge shipping up front … and even more ridiculous that they would actually print an order before securing the shipping fee from the client! That’s no way to run a business!
So I sadly had to cancel my order. I feel bad that they already printed it, but I’m not going to pay more for shipping than I did on the actual product. If I’d known that was the shipping charge, I would have never placed the order in the first place.
So the moral of the story is:
Check what the shipping charge is before you place your order!
And now I’m back to square one on the bookmark front. Le sigh. Anyone know of a good, cheap bookmark printer that I can order from in Canada without incurring crazy customs fees? Writer of the winning suggestion gets a free bookmark once I actually get my hands on them!!!
Unrelated images of the day:
I have no idea what this is, but it looks awesome!
And a cute/disturbing comic to brighten your Friday:
Fantastic new review from my wonderful WordPress friend and self-publishing inspiration Tania L Ramos. (I love saying her name!!! Tania L Rrrrramos!) Anyway, check it out, should you dare:
Imminent Danger and How to Fly Straight Into It, by Michelle Proulx.
Unrelated media of the day:
Source: http://imgur.com/Rb5Pnej
The final stop of MMMWBT is slightly confusing, but I ask that you bear with me. Matthew Cook wanted to conduct a video interview with me, but I don’t have a webcam, so instead I got my brother Jesse to pretend to be Matt and conduct the interview with me in person using Matt’s interview questions.
So, Jesse (brother) = Matt (friend/interviewer), and interview = GO FOR LAUNCH!
Thanks again to everyone who participated in my hilariously short blog tour. Huzzah!
Unrelated link of the day:
This site links you to totally useless websites around the web, some of which have loud sounds (so turn down your volume!)
Having finally awoken after a very late night of the Game of Thrones board game and a tad too many cookies for my poor stomach to handle, I am now pleased to announce that Day 2 of my magical mini weekend blog tour is officially under way! My wonderful and artistic friend Celeste DeWolfe has conducted and posted an author interview with me (featuring different questions from yesterday’s interview, so stop panicking!).
Click here to soak in the majesty of the interview! (or just read it – your choice)
Theatrics aside, thank you again to both lovely ladies who participated in my impromptu and slightly disorganized blog tour. Virtual cupcakes all around!
Unrelated link of the day:
Theories about popular shows, movies, and games
Unrelated image of the day:
Source: http://i.imgur.com/gVjy1Ph.jpg
What up, my home-skillets! Sorry, I get rather gangster on the weekends. Anyway, just popping in to remind you that today is Day #1 of MMMWBT! (Terrible name!)
Today’s stop belongs to the incomparable J.R. Wolfe. She has very kindly posted a review of Imminent Danger, as well as hosted an author interview with me in which I divulge the sordid details of how I played Donkey Kong Country in Astronomy class instead of listening to my professor. Gasp!
Check it out the review/interview here!!!
Thanks again to J.R. Wolfe for participating in/inspiring/forcefully starting this mini blog tour!
Unrelated media of the day:
For all you Game of Thrones fans out there, here is a musical recap of Daenerys Targaryen’s adventures in Season 2:
Secondly, for all you Next Gen/X-Men fans, Patrick Stewart displays his finest acting skills:
Source: http://i.imgur.com/ouseadR.jpg
I am a messy person. This has been evident since … well, since as long as I can remember. I have gotten into multiple arguments (read: screaming matches) over the years over my inability to do the dishes, vacuum the carpet, refill the water jug, etc. I have accepted this about myself, although my living companions still live in hope that I will one day reform and become a cleaning goddess. This will never happen, but I try to encourage them by occasionally cleaning the bathroom so they don’t give up on me entirely. I haven’t been thrown out of a house/apartment yet, so I’d say my plan has been largely successful thus far.
Anyway, today’s topic is on writing spaces. I was inspired to write this post because I’ve been feeling very aimless recently when I sit down to work at my desk. And then the reason behind my aimlessness occurred to me — it’s because my desk is a disaster. If this were Jurassic Park, my desk would be the bloody remains of that goat the T-Rex chomped up. Disturbing mental images aside, check out the horror that is my sacred writing space:
Because that isn’t the greatest image in the world, not to mention the cherry blossoms somewhat detract from the point I’m trying to make, I will now provide a listing of everything currently scattered across my desk. Ready?
In case this hasn’t become apparent, the moral of the story here is that clutter stifles your creativity. This mass of junk is a reminder of all the things I have to do, or that I haven’t yet accomplished, and it’s exhausting. So if there’s one thing you should take away from this post, it’s that some mess = fine, but stupid amounts of clutter = bad.
So if you’re swimming in a sea of random papers, old journals, and a truly unnecessary number of writing utensils, just do as I do — write a post about how horrible clutter is, and then do absolutely nothing to fix it.
Success!
In other news …
I’ve been intending to do a blog tour to celebrate the release of Imminent Danger, but I keep putting it off. I had intended to continue putting it off, until the lovely and talented J.R. Wolfe informed me that she had A) read and enjoyed my book, and B) was going to post an author interview with me on her blog on Saturday, whether I liked it or not. Just kidding! Mostly …
Anyway, a few hours later the equally lovely and talented Celeste DeWolfe also requested an author interview, and before I knew it, I had somehow become involved in a mini blog tour. I will definitely be holding a longer blog tour (probably in March), so don’t despair — you, too, will have a chance to be a part of my blog tour, aka the greatest blogging event known to mankind.
I’ll post links on Saturday and Sunday to the respective lovely ladies’ blogs, where you’ll find insightful (ha!) interviews in which I reveal assorted facts about my life and writing. So stay tuned for Michelle’s Mini Magical Weekend Blog Tour! (I think MMMWBT rolls off the tongue, don’t you?)
Feel free to stop by and ask questions if you feel so inclined. Here are some example questions you might consider asking:
Unrelated image of the day:
Source: http://i.imgur.com/5YbbaBO.jpg
Michelle Proulx - Author 
