Posts Tagged With: Jurassic Park

“Seven Harry Potters” Scene – Re-written

Once upon a time, Harry Potter was about to turn seventeen. He knew that the second the clock struck midnight, Voldemort and his Death Eaters would arrive to capture him. He also found out that a corrupt Ministry of Magic official had made it an imprisonable offence for him to use Floo powder, portkeys, or Apparition to escape.

All seemed hopeless, and Harry thought he would have no choice but to let six of his friends use Polyjuice potion and pretend to be him. With these seven Harry Potters, the Death Eaters wouldn’t know which Harry was which when they made their daring escape — although this would also put his friends in great danger, and might very well end in their death and/or dismemberment.

Then Harry remembered that he wasn’t a complete idiot, and that he didn’t care about being imprisoned since the Ministry was already under Voldemort’s thumb. So he told Moody and the Order of the Phoenix to call off their ridiculous plan, and he waited more-or-less peacefully in the Dursley’s house right up until his birthday.

At three seconds to midnight, he Apparated to some random field in the middle of nowhere. He knew that the Death Eaters would follow him, but he wasn’t worried, because he remembered that he wasn’t playing an online game, and that the Apparate spell doesn’t have a cooldown.

So Harry immediately Apparated again — straight to the Burrow, this time — and the Death Eaters had no idea where he went because by then it was past midnight, he was now seventeen, and the trace spell that the Ministry used on him to track his underage magic usage had stopped working.

Harry Potter therefore arrived safe and sound at the Burrow without putting any of his friends in danger, or getting anyone’s ear blown off, and everyone was very happy to see him and they all ate treacle tart to celebrate.

The End.

 

Unrelated media of the day:

Categories: Writing | Tags: , , , , , , | 30 Comments

Impending Nuptials Ahoy!

Greetings, my fellow bloggerites! I just wanted to check in and let you know that:

A) The book reading was a semi-success — I managed to attract 4 entire people to come listen to me ramble. Huzzah!
B) The book reading was a semi-failure — I managed to attract 4 meager people to come listen to me ramble. Booooo.

In other news, I’m off for the long weekend (Canada Day!) to attend my friend’s wedding, so if I appear to be suspiciously absent for the next few days … well, it’s because I’m not here. I’ll post more about the book reading when I get back.

 

Oh, and don’t forget to enter the Goodreads Giveaway for Imminent Danger And How to Fly Straight into It! No purchase necessary, much love for all who enter, and the contest ends on July 1.

 

In conclusion, live long and prosper, and enjoy the unrelated media.

 

Unrelated media of the day:

Categories: Blog-related | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 28 Comments

My messy writing space (and why it is slowly sucking out my soul)

I am a messy person. This has been evident since … well, since as long as I can remember. I have gotten into multiple arguments (read: screaming matches) over the years over my inability to do the dishes, vacuum the carpet, refill the water jug, etc. I have accepted this about myself, although my living companions still live in hope that I will one day reform and become a cleaning goddess. This will never happen, but I try to encourage them by occasionally cleaning the bathroom so they don’t give up on me entirely. I haven’t been thrown out of a house/apartment yet, so I’d say my plan has been largely successful thus far.

Anyway, today’s topic is on writing spaces. I was inspired to write this post because I’ve been feeling very aimless recently when I sit down to work at my desk. And then the reason behind my aimlessness occurred to me — it’s because my desk is a disaster. If this were Jurassic Park, my desk would be the bloody remains of that goat the T-Rex chomped up. Disturbing mental images aside, check out the horror that is my sacred writing space:

20130201_141929Because that isn’t the greatest image in the world, not to mention the cherry blossoms somewhat detract from the point I’m trying to make, I will now provide a listing of everything currently scattered across my desk. Ready?

  • 4 printouts of my book cover, in various states of wrinkley-ness
  • a pricing sheet that lists the various author discounts at which I can purchase my book
  • 4 notebooks
  • a diagram of a high pressure boiler feedwater pump
  • 3 to-do lists
  • assorted papers
  • “Be Still” bookmark
  • 3 pens
  • 1 mechanical pencil
  • 2 silver sharpies
  • old book manuscript (spiral bound)
  • fancy leather binder my dad gave me for Christmas
  • Flipcam
  • glass of water
  • note with directions to London Writer’s Society meeting
  • “Im in ur cassel, advizin ur king” mousepad
  • mouse, keyboard, monitor

In case this hasn’t become apparent, the moral of the story here is that clutter stifles your creativity. This mass of junk is a reminder of all the things I have to do, or that I haven’t yet accomplished, and it’s exhausting. So if there’s one thing you should take away from this post, it’s that some mess = fine, but stupid amounts of clutter = bad.

So if you’re swimming in a sea of random papers, old journals, and a truly unnecessary number of writing utensils, just do as I do — write a post about how horrible clutter is, and then do absolutely nothing to fix it.

Success!

In other news …

I’ve been intending to do a blog tour to celebrate the release of Imminent Danger, but I keep putting it off. I had intended to continue putting it off, until the lovely and talented J.R. Wolfe informed me that she had A) read and enjoyed my book, and B) was going to post an author interview with me on her blog on Saturday, whether I liked it or not. Just kidding! Mostly …

Anyway, a few hours later the equally lovely and talented Celeste DeWolfe also requested an author interview, and before I knew it, I had somehow become involved in a mini blog tour. I will definitely be holding a longer blog tour (probably in March), so don’t despair — you, too, will have a chance to be a part of my blog tour, aka the greatest blogging event known to mankind.

I’ll post links on Saturday and Sunday to the respective lovely ladies’ blogs, where you’ll find insightful (ha!) interviews in which I reveal assorted facts about my life and writing. So stay tuned for Michelle’s Mini Magical Weekend Blog Tour! (I think MMMWBT rolls off the tongue, don’t you?)

Feel free to stop by and ask questions if you feel so inclined. Here are some example questions you might consider asking:

  • Has your giant teddy bear come to life and eaten anyone yet?
  • Why is your hair tied up in all your pictures? Do you have some sort of weird phobia about having hair on your neck?
  • Why haven’t you reviewed my book yet? ARGHHHHHH!
  • Why do you feel that bacon is the greatest and most magical foodstuff in all of creation?
  • What are your thoughts on unicycles?

Unrelated image of the day:

Categories: Random, Writing | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 61 Comments

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