Posts Tagged With: bookmarks

Want Imminent Danger Swag? Email Me!

Have you ever dreamed of owning your very own Imminent Danger bookmark? Well, dream no more, my friends! I have a boatload of bookmarks and stickers that are getting dusty on my shelves, and I just bought a shiny new 50-pack of envelopes, so I’m putting out a call to all my adoring fans:

If you want Imminent Danger swag, email me with your address and I’ll send you some!

Before anyone gets overly excited, we’re talking bookmarks and stickers here, people — not, like, a pony with my book cover shaved into its side. That’s animal cruelty, which is very bad. Shame on you.

So if you want some ID swag, email me (michellishelli@gmail.com) your address, and I’ll do my best to make it happen. Obviously if I get 500 emails (unlikely, but I’m allowed to dream too, dammit!), I won’t be able to send out swag envelopes to everyone, so we’ll say this is a first come, first serve offer.

Now fire up that inbox and send me all your juicy personal information!

Unrelated media of the day:

Correct usage of quotation marks is a must for the savvy writer …

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Categories: Random | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Bookmarks, Customs, and Muffins … oh my!

We’ll start with the best first: Muffins!

I would like to share with you possibly my favourite joke of all time. I’m pretty sure everyone and their pet llama has heard this one, but whatever, I still think it’s hilarious:

Two muffins are sitting in a microwave. The microwave turns on.

The first muffin looks at the second muffin and says, “Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?”

The second muffin looks at the first muffin and screams, “OH MY GOD! A TALKING MUFFIN!”

He he he …

Right. Moving on to: Bookmarks!

In my continuing attempts to spend all my time thinking up marketing strategies for Imminent Danger instead of, say, actually doing my job and getting paid, I hit upon the idea of printing out massive amounts of bookmarks and leaving them randomly around town.

I found a site called nextdayflyers.com that claimed to be able to sell me 1000 bookmarks for a crazy-low sum like $60. I was sold. So I created a kick-bottom bookmark, which I shall now share with you in all it’s bookmarky glory:

bookmarkfrontback

Aren’t they gorgeous? Don’t they just make you want to run outside in the freezing cold in your bare feet and dance around in the snow exulting in the wonder of life?

Exactly. So I sent in the design files and paid the $60. I was a bit surprised that there was no charge for shipping, but I figured they were just doing one of those “Order over X amount of money and we’ll ship it for free!” promotions like other online companies do.

I was decidedly misinformed.

Three days later, I get a call from nextdayflyers.com. The nice man on the phone greets me, tells me my bookmarks are printed and ready to be shipped, and then says, “It will be $65 for customs and shipping, so I’ll just go ahead and charge that to your VISA, shall I?”

My response, obviously, was “Hell no.” It is absolutely ridiculous that an online company would not charge shipping up front … and even more ridiculous that they would actually print an order before securing the shipping fee from the client! That’s no way to run a business!

So I sadly had to cancel my order. I feel bad that they already printed it, but I’m not going to pay more for shipping than I did on the actual product. If I’d known that was the shipping charge, I would have never placed the order in the first place.

So the moral of the story is:

Check what the shipping charge is before you place your order!

And now I’m back to square one on the bookmark front. Le sigh. Anyone know of a good, cheap bookmark printer that I can order from in Canada without incurring crazy customs fees? Writer of the winning suggestion gets a free bookmark once I actually get my hands on them!!!

Unrelated images of the day:

I have no idea what this is, but it looks awesome!

And a cute/disturbing comic to brighten your Friday:

Categories: Random, Self Publishing | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 56 Comments

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