Chasing Nonconformity

Posted on September 24, 2012 by Michelle Proulx

We shall begin with a simple question. Were you intrigued by the title of this post?

No: Curses! Perhaps I was being overly optimistic about my own brilliance.

Yes: Huzzah! You are a person of incredible wit and taste. I applaud you, sir or madam.

Enough shenanigans. “Chasing Nonconformity” is the working title of my current WIP (work in progress). It’s the sequel to Imminent Danger and How to Fly Straight into It, and basically picks up where the first book leaves off. Like Imminent Danger, the sequel features space battles, sexy mercenaries, six-armed reptile warriors, and a generous helping of ridiculousness.

I wrote Chasing Nonconformity while I was living in South Korea, so I imagine that had some influence on the various characters and events of the story. I definitely borrowed heavily from the Korean language when making up names for planets, aliens, foodstuffs, and assorted sci-fi paraphernalia.

To give you some idea of where it’s at, I shall now share with you:

Michelle’s Official Writing Process

1. Write.

2. Wait six months. Review and revise.

3. Wait six months. Review and revise.

4. Give book to my mother.

5. Receive book from my mother, heavily scribbled upon with red pen and “constructive criticism” that makes my soul weep bitter, bitter tears.

6. Review and revise.

7. Give book to friends.

8. Receive book from friends, heavily scribbled upon with pen that starts in red, then shifts to blue/black/green/purple when they inevitably lose their red pens. Rejoice from all the supportive and optimistic feedback.

9. Review and revise.

10. Give book to my mother.

11. Receive book from my mother, heavily scribbled upon with red pen and “constructive criticism” that makes my soul weep bitter, bitter tears.

12. Review and revise.

I wanted to include the step of “Actually publish the book” on that list, but as it hasn’t happened yet, I felt including it on the list might be premature. With Imminent Danger, I’m somewhere around “Step 37: Review and Revise. Again. For the final time, this time, dammit!”

With Chasing Nonconformity, however, I’m waaaaaay back on Step 6. Exciting times are ahead, my friends! First I have to finish completely re-writing the middle section of the book, then head to the end and cut out a ton of plot. Hopefully I can use all this extraneous plot in future sequels, but I’m not going to beat myself up if that doesn’t happen.

So that’s basically what I’m working on right now. I’ve been kicking around the idea of attempting NaNoWriMo this year (because my attempt at Camp NaNo this summer went so well), so ideally I’ll get Step 6 of Chasing Nonconformity done before then.

I appear to be babbling. I’ll stop. What’s your writing process? Where are you at with your current WIP? Do you have any tips for cutting down my current writing process to something a little less insane?

Random video of the day: a chilling look at the “Dungeons & Dragons” phenomenon.

Categories: Self Publishing, Writing | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 24 Comments

Working against my own interests …?

Posted on September 23, 2012 by Michelle Proulx

Once again stealing someone else’s idea, I present to you The Living Notebook’s latest blog post. Basically, Harper Voyager (the sci-fi/fantasy subsidiary of Harper Collins) is accepting un-agented sci-fi manuscript submissions from October 1 – 14th. They’re looking for about a dozen new manuscripts, which they will publish digitally (not in print, although the site does say they’ll think about it if your sales are good enough). Anyway, click your way over to The Living Notebook’s site to get the link to the Harper Voyager contest.

So … is spreading the word of this awesome opportunity actively working against my own interests? Oh, absolutely. But I figure that, hey, if you have a sci-fi manuscript better than mine, then you deserve to get signed. So polish up those manuscripts and start submitting!

My one qualm with the Harper Voyager contest is that, while I would *love* to be traditionally published (talk about street cred!), they’re only doing digital publication (at least at first). I want to see my book in print. So in the extremely unlikely event they actually choose my story for publication, does that mean I’d have to give up my dreams of seeing Imminent Danger in print? I’d probably lose my copyright rights once they pick it up, so I wouldn’t have the option of printing the book myself. Thoughts?

My other qualm (okay, so I lied about only having the one qualm) is that I don’t want to put my self-publishing plan on hold on the extreme off-chance that Harper Voyager picks my manuscript out of thousands. What would happen if I self-published my book, and then discovered three days later that Harper Voyager wanted to buy my book? I mean, again, traditional publishing yay! But I would have already gone through all the effort of self-publishing (which I already paid for), only to have to cancel everything after a few days/weeks. The Harper Voyager website states that they will accept self-published books, no problem, and I suppose I already have paid for the self-publishing, so there’s no real point in stopping the self-publication process. Still … can you imagine? “Hey guys, remember how I finally self-published yesterday? Yeah, just pretend it never happened. Trololol.”

Anyway, head over to The Living Notebook’s blog and check out that Harper Voyager link. Best of luck to all of you who decide to submit a manuscript!

Random graphic of the day:

D’awwwww! Source: http://i.imgur.com/Fex5Q.jpg

Categories: Self Publishing, Writing | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

Muchas gracias to my 200 followers!

Posted on September 22, 2012 by Michelle Proulx

Squeeeee!

I shouldn’t even be on the internet right now — I have a ton of work to do, and my attempts at working yesterday were thwarted by bowling and apartment hunting — but I just had to pop on and thank all you wonderful people for following this blog! I’ve officially hit 200 followers (in the sense that I’ve reached a milestone, not that I’ve taken to pummelling people), and that’s really exciting for me (obviously!).

When I started this blog in May, I didn’t really know what to expect. I figured that WordPress was sort of like Facebook — I post, you post, we both hit “Like”, rinse and repeat. But blogging is incredibly fun, more so than I’d ever imagined, and I’ve met some brilliant, insightful, hilarious bloggers who make my day every time they upload a new post.

So, muchas gracias to all my followers, for clicking that Like button, leaving clever comments, and basically being awesome. I would explain how much I appreciate it, but you probably know already. Bloggers unite!

Random movie trailer of the day:

This is the second trailer for The Hobbit (came out a couple of days ago — the trailer, not the movie). It’s really awesome, so check it out.

Poll of the day:

Categories: Blog-related | Tags: , , , , , , | 10 Comments

My Author Mission Statement

Posted on September 20, 2012 by Michelle Proulx

I got this idea from Joanne Phillips’ Blog (check her out!).

Basically, she says that if businesses have mission statements that explain why they do what they do, why shouldn’t an author have one as well?

Thus, without further ado, my mission statement:

I write because I love books, and I can’t imagine anything more amazing than writing a book that people love.

It’s not quite as long and detailed as Joanne’s mission statement, but there it is. I had planned on rambling for several paragraphs, but then I realized that that one sentence really does encapsulate my thoughts on writing.

What’s your author mission statement? Or, if you aren’t an author, what’s your life’s mission statement?

Random Image of the Day:

Classic Youtube Hit of the Day:

Categories: Writing | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

Yarrr! Celebrate International Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Posted on September 19, 2012 by Michelle Proulx

Ahoy, matey! Yarr! Codswallop! Rum!

Okay, that’s basically all the pirate speak I know.

Anyway, today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day. I didn’t know much about it, so I checked out the site, and it turns out that you can donate there to various charities. These charities presumably have to do with talking like pirates, although I think they’re stretching — what does “regional support networks” have to do with looting and pillaging? Arrgh!

I have not personally written anything about pirates before, although I have seen some humorous pirate-themed media. I shall share these assorted media with you now, thus may we better embrace the ideologies of International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

Yarrr!

Lazy Town – You Are A Pirate

Cosmo Jarvis – Gay Pirates

ARRR!

http://bank.imgdumpr.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/funny-friday-arrg-pirate-talk-comic-the-letter-r-274×300.jpg

Pirate Scrabble

Categories: Random | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

What up from Washington

Posted on September 16, 2012 by Michelle Proulx

What up, blogosphere!

I’m on day 4 of my mini-vacation to Washington, and my travelling companion (aka my mother) has given up her computer to go take a shower. I have therefore seized this opportunity to say a quick hello and update you all on my adventures here in Washingtonland.

Day 1 of the vacation featured an exhaustive car trip from London, Ontario (my home), down to Washington DC. Instead of taking the interstates like normal people, we meandered our way through mountains, valleys, and quaint villages, averaging about 60 km/h and getting thoroughly carsick from all the twists and turns.

Our Google Map directions, despite being really slow, worked well up until the point we reached the outskirts of Washington. At that point it was about 10 p.m., we were exhausted from driving all day, and certain people’s tempers grew … short. Anyway, we took a wrong turn and ended up at the northern parking lot of the Pentagon. I didn’t even know the Pentagon is in Washington. Maybe it isn’t. Maybe it’s all a big parking lot conspiracy. That’s a thing, right?

Day 2 sent my mother off on an unrelated day trip that I can’t discuss here due to privacy concerns. I, on the other hand, was left free to explore Washington on my own. I proceeded to the Smithsonian Aerospace Museum, where I watched no less than 3 separate IMAX/planetarium shows, explored the bottom floor of the museum, and saw the original Apollo 11 space capsule. Needless to say, it was really awesome.

Day 3 involved going to the zoo and eating delicious Chinese food. I would love to say more about that, but unfortunately I can’t due to those privacy concerns I mentioned above. At this point, you’re probably wondering if I’m secretly a government spy. The answer is yes. My code name is Green Platypus.

Today is Day 4, and current planning suggests that mother and I will be rocking the upper floor of the Aerospace museum, followed by a visit to the Natural History museum. I expect funtimes and shenanigans to be had.

Two notes on Washington, in case you ever go:

  1. The subway system sucks. The automated ticketing machines are inexplicably designed to make your life as difficult as possible. And I have been on a lot of subway systems in my life, in a lot of countries, so I do know what I’m talking about. Eek. Something to work on, Washington DC transit authority.
  2. All the Smithsonian museums (although apparently not the Portrait Gallery) close at 5:30 p.m. So if you intend to see the museums, start your day early (and not at noon like I keep doing).

This concludes my check-in. Stay awesome, and I look forward to catching up on all your blog posts and stories that I’ve missed once I return to Canadadada. (Sing that last word to the tune of Beethoven’s 5th).

Random Video of the Day:

Categories: Random | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

I broke 100,000 words! Happy day!

Posted on September 11, 2012 by Michelle Proulx

It’s official — Imminent Danger and How to Fly Straight into It is now under 100,000 words. I believe it’s sitting nicely at 99,300-ish, and we’re not even done editing yet.

We’re on chapter 32 of 44, so I’m guessing the final word count will be somewhere around 95k. That’s still a very decent length for a YA novel, and the writing is getting much better and tighter as a result, so I’m really happy that we decided to do this final round of editing.

At the current editing pace, we (my editor/mother and I) should be done the shortening/revisions by the end of September. Then I’ll send out the new and improved book to a handful of select readers (aka people who can promise to read the book in a week), fix whatever (hopefully!) minor issues they find, and then send it off for copy-editing.

The other upside of getting the book under 100k words is that the copy editing will cost less. 100k words = $2200. 95k words = $2090. That’s about a hundred dollars in savings, which is good by me! I’m all for saving money. Then again, who isn’t?

In other news, I have a stack of self-published novels on my hard drive that I need to read and review. I keep meaning to get started on them, but I always seem to get distracted. Last week I had a legitimate excuse — I was temping for a telecommunications company — but now I don’t really have any reason not to get started on the reading/reviewing.

My next hurdle will be to decide which book to read first. Should I go by the date each book was sent to me, or by how much I want to read the book? Hmm …

In other, other news, I’m headed to Washington with my mother this week for a mini-vacation before winter starts. That’s the nice thing about having a flex-time job — vacation is very easy to book, since I don’t have to request time off or reschedule shifts. On the downside, I’m really bad at flex-time work, because I procrastinate like nobody’s business. Ah well. Anyway, I’m really excited for Washington. I’ve been once before, when I was about twelve or thirteen, and I remember that it was really awesome. I’m probably going to hit up the Smithsonian, the Library of Congress, etc.

I’ll try to take pictures, but no promises.

Random picture of the day:

True love, Japan style
source: http://i.imgur.com/yA7Up.jpg

Categories: Self Publishing, Writing | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments

Nikola Tesla is AWESOME. Here’s Why …

Posted on September 9, 2012 by Michelle Proulx

Whilst surfing the internet with no particular goal in mind, I stumbled upon this funny info-graphic from The Oatmeal:

Why Nikola Tesla was the greatest geek who ever lived

It begins with a basic overview of what makes a geek a geek. Then they start into the info on Tesla — the Serbian-American inventor best known for inventing alternating current power. But then, as you get farther down the info-graphic, you start to learn about Edison, and how he ripped off Tesla’s ideas, and about all the other people who got rich off of Tesla’s inventions, and how Tesla was totally insane and was in love with a pigeon and died a virgin because he devoted his entire life to science and invented everything from radio, to radar, to the first hydroelectric plant, to cryogenic engineering, to the remote control. Google if you don’t believe — it’s all true. The guy was a super-genius, and most people only know him for the tesla coil.

Anyway, check out the info-graphic — it’s really interesting, and also really funny (unless you love Edison, in which case don’t read it).

Then, at the bottom of the info-graphic, I found this image:

So I clicked the link, which took me to the indiegogo fundraising page. There, I learned what exactly they were trying to fundraise for:

Tesla’s final laboratory is located in the sleepy town of Shoreham, New York.  It’s known as Wardenclyffe and it’s where Tesla attempted to build a tower that would provide free wireless energy to the entire earth. Unfortunately, Tesla lost his funding before the project was completed and in 1917 the Wardenclyffe tower was demolished.  Subsequently, the land was sold to a film and paper manufacturer.

However, the land, laboratory, and foundation beneath the tower are still there and very recently went up for sale. And right now a non-profit is trying to buy the property and turn it into a Nikola Tesla Museum. The property is listed at $1.6 million, and this non-profit has received a matching grant from New York State of up to $850k.  This means that if we can raise $850k, New York State will match us for that same amount — putting the total raised at $1.7 million.

There is currently another offer on the table from someone who wants to purchase the property potentially tear it down or turn it into a retail establishment. There is no Tesla museum in the United States, despite Tesla’s extraordinary accomplishments.  If we can outbid this other person and buy the land it will permanently be protected as a historic site and eventually converted into a Nikola Tesla Science Center.

The folks behind this project are a 501(c) non-profit organization and they’ve spent the past 15 years trying to find a way to save this property.  This IndieGoGo account is linked directly to their bank and all the funds will go directly to them.

I’m sorry, the man attempted to build a tower that would provide free wireless energy to the entire earth?!!!

That sounds like the kind of guy we should be building a museum for.

And yes, I did the research to make sure this isn’t a scam. Here’s a link to the Tesla Science Center, where all the donated money is going. Here’s an article from the Guardian about the campaign.

Again, here’s a link to where you can donate to the Tesla Museum fundraising campaign.

I don’t usually donate money, as I’m fairly broke. But I guess I have a soft spot in my heart for misunderstood geniuses who almost single-handedly ushered in a second Industrial Revolution. I donated $33, which netted me a “Tesla > Edison bumper sticker”. Pics or it didn’t happen, right?

It’s kinda small, but there’s me, 3 down — michellishelli. My bumper sticker will soon be winging its way toward me. Now all I need is a car to put it on.

Anyway, don’t feel pressured to donate or anything. I just thought it was a really great cause, and since I’ve never heard of it, I figure you guys might not have either. But now you have, so my work is done!

If you do donate, let me know in the comments! We can fangirl/fanboy about how awesome Tesla is.

Random Writing-Related Comic of the Day:

His logic might be flawed …
Source: http://inkygirl.com/inkygirl-main/2012/5/15/comic-clown-writer.html

Categories: Random | Tags: , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Things I Learned From Being a Temp Worker

Posted on September 7, 2012 by Michelle Proulx

I recently signed up with a temp agency. My goals were twofold:

  1. To make money (obviously).
  2. To expose myself to different situations that I would never find myself in regularly (which I could then use as fodder for my writing).

I succeeded wildly on both accounts.

This past week, I worked 9-5 for a telecommunications company. They had a booth set up at my local university. My job was to hand out magnets and try to convince people to sign up for internet. First of all, let me say that, despite the fact that my legs felt like they were going to fall off each night, I had a really great time. The two girls I worked with were bubbly and super friendly, and my manager was just a genuinely awesome human being. Despite the fact that all three of us magnet-pushers were temp workers, he treated us like valued employees, and gave us a great little bonus at the end of the week.

As for the magnet-pushing itself … talk about fascinating. I got to come into close contact with every range of the human spectrum. It’s really interesting to see how different people reacted when offered the free magnets. The coolest part was that the people I expected to react a certain way often did the total opposite.

Here, in no particular order, are some of the reactions I got when I extended a magnet, smiled, and said, “Would you like a magnet?”

  • Thanks.
  • No, thanks.
  • No.
  • I already have one.
  • I don’t need one.
  • Sweet! I’ll put this on my fridge.
  • I have about 20. Sure, I’ll take more.
  • **totally ignores my existence**
  • Uh … what is it? No, no, I don’t need that.
  • **politely declines in foreign language**
  • **shies away from me, travelling a meter in the wrong direction and nearly crashing into other passersby**
  • I already have internet.
  • **pretends to take out cell phone to avoid eye contact**
  • **polite wave of hand to indicate no**
  • Sorry.
  • No, but I’ll take one of those pens.
  • Sorry, I have no hands. (or “Sorry, my hands are full”)
  • **glares and stalks off**
  • **glances up, then ignores me and walks away**
  • **stops mid-stride, stares at the magnet, then backs away, nearly crashing into other passersby**

That’s just a small sampling, of course. It astonished me how many ways people could come up with to say “No”. The most fun for me was when they went out of their way to skirt around me, and nearly crashed into other people as a result. What did they think I would do, jump at them if they came too close? Bite at their nose? Grab them and force them to sign-up at magnet-point? Is a magnet even a viable weapon?

I also had a fun encounter with an older lady. When I offered her a magnet, she took one look at the company name, then flipped her proverbial s**t.  She started shouting about how the company was useless, and how they screwed her and her son over, and how she’ll never buy from them again, etc. My co-worker came over to help me deal with her, and had to ask the woman to stop shouting and leave several times before the woman stormed off. I’ve worked in customer service a few times before, but fortunately I’ve never encountered the bats**t insane customer type before. It was annoying at the time, but I find it really amusing in retrospect. And it taught me a valuable lesson, which I will now impart to you all below:

If you want to rant at someone, check first to see if they’re a minimum wage employee. If they are, ask for a manager. The minimum wage employee can do absolutely nothing to help you, other than have their day ruined by you. And remember that, when complaining, the manager will go out of their way to be unhelpful if you’re acting like a raving psychopath.

Since my WordPress friends are all intelligent, rational individuals, I’m sure this lesson doesn’t apply to you. Still, I feel it had to be said, even if just to remind us all that minimum wage employees have to put up with a lot of unpleasant things for very little compensation.

To wrap things up, my first stint as a temp employee went really well. I met some fascinating characters who will undoubtedly be showing up in my future books. And I have a nice paycheck from the telecommunications company that will mostly go to paying my telecommunications bill. Would that be considered ironic? I can never tell.

Thought-provoking link of the day:

“‘Trampire’: Why the Public Slut Shaming of Kristen Stewart Matters for Young Women”

Random Internet Awesomeness of the day:

This one takes me back. Ahh, good times. Warning: the F-word is used in this video.

Categories: Random | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

The Ultimate Fanfiction Challenge

Posted on September 3, 2012 by Michelle Proulx

Okay people, in honour of my first day of 9-5 work, I have created the:

Here are the rules:

1. Write a short fanfiction about ANYTHING you want — the goal here is to get as ridiculous as humanly possible. Oh, and you should probably keep it fairly clean — or at least make sure to put a rating on it before inquisitive young minds read your Snape/Dobby/Katniss orgy fic and are scarred for life.

2. Post it in the comments below, or on your blog, or wherever the heck you like. Just make sure you let me know so I can read it!

3. If you like the idea, share the ULTIMATE FANFICTION CHALLENGE on your own blog. Hopefully it will catch on, and WordPress will be swamped by thousands of terrible, mind-bogglingly twisted fanfictions in the next few weeks. Fingers crossed!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

For my entry into the ULTIMATE FANFICTION CHALLENGE, I give you:

The Boy and his Cake

Fandom: Hunger Games

Pairing: Peeta / Cake

Rating: R (sort of …?)

It had been months since the Hunger Games, but Peeta knew that even though his body had escaped the arena, his mind never would. His nights were tormented by images of Katniss dying. Peeta always tried to save her, but he never could. He woke up screaming every morning, long before the sun rose, and nothing could get him to fall back asleep.

After awakening from a particularly horrific nightmare in which Katniss had been ripped apart by mutts, Peeta stumbled out of his room and down to the kitchen for a glass of water. But when he turned on the kitchen light, he was astonished by what he found sitting on the counter. It was a huge cake, five layers tall, and two feet in diameter.

“What do we have here?” Peeta murmured, approaching the cake. It was made of chocolate batter, but there was something missing. “You poor thing,” he murmured, reaching out to gently caress the spongy cake. “Your maker forgot to ice you. Don’t worry, I can fix you. I’ll make you feel better than you’ve ever felt before.”

Driven by his newfound purpose, Peeta rummaged through the drawers and pulled out the ingredients to make delicious chocolate icing. He mixed it all together in a huge wooden bowl, accidentally covering himself in icing sugar in the process.

Dipping a wide spatula into the bowl of icing, Peeta carefully began to ice the near-side of the cake. “Your curves are so soft, so round,” Peeta whispered, tracing the spatula lovingly along the cake. “I could just eat you up. But you wouldn’t like that, would you? You want the person who eats you to take it slow, really savour the experience. I can do that for you, cake. I can be that man.”

He ran the icing-coated spatula round and round the cake, moving faster and faster as he moved up the layers. By the time he reached the topmost layer, he was panting from his efforts. “Just a little longer,” he gasped. “Almost there …”

Finally he reached the tip of the cake, finishing off the icing with a sultry swirl. Then Peeta collapsed back against the sink, breathing raggedly and clutching the spatula in an iron grip.

There was only one thing left to do. Drawing forth a knife, Peeta carefully sliced off a piece of the chocolate confection. After the first taste, his eyes rolled back in his head and he moaned in ecstasy. “Oh my god,” Peeta groaned. “I’ve never felt this fulfilled before, you insatiable chocolate temptress.”

“Eat some more,” the cake replied, “and you’ll see how insatiable I can be.”

It suddenly occurred to Peeta that maybe he should have attended those Capitol-appointed psychiatric appointments after all.

Random Video of the Day:

The song itself is kind of bad. The video, however, is hysterical.

Categories: Writing | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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