My Works

New (adorable!) fanart from Celeste DeWolfe

In her latest attempt to illustrate my entire book because she’s awesome, Celeste DeWolfe has captured one of my favorite moments from Imminent Danger — the moment where the mysterious black raider who saves Eris and Miguri from the villainous, reptilian Ssrisk removes his helmet to reveal that he is a devilishly handsome young man. View and enjoy!

Artist: Celeste DeWolfe

Artist: Celeste DeWolfe

 

Unrelated media of the day:

This song is dedicated (I can do that, right?) to the lovely and talented Miss Celeste DeWolfe:

 

Categories: My Works | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

New Action-Packed Fan Art from Celeste DeWolfe

Happy Sunday, everyone! Whilst you’re lounging about in the glorious sunshine, entertain yourselves by viewing this latest and greatest Imminent Danger And How to Fly Straight into It, by the lovely and talented Celeste DeWolfe! Three cheers for Celeste DeWolfe! Hip hip hurray!

Artist: Celeste DeWolfe

Artist: Celeste DeWolfe

For those who haven’t read the book, what’s basically going on here is that Eris (girl in purple) and Miguri (white-haired little dude) are being held prisoner by the Ssrisk (big blue lizard guy). Varrin (acrobatic gentleman in black) has arrived to rescue them, and by using his genetically-enhanced awesomeness, manages to snatch them from the clutches of these villainous lizard-folk.

 

Unrelated link of the day:

Art paired with food = excellence. http://www.thisiscolossal.com/2013/04/artist-hong-yi-plays-with-her-food/?src=footer

Categories: My Works | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

Presenting … Chapter 2 of “Imminent Danger And How to Fly Straight into It”

As the title of this post suggests, I am psyched to share with you today CHAPTER 2 of my book, Imminent Danger And How to Fly Straight into It. If you missed CHAPTER 1, click here to give it a read.

Onwards, dear friends, unto the breach!

 

2

When Eris came to, her first thought was blue. It took her a few groggy seconds to figure out why. The spongy, curved walls of the small, spherical room in which she found herself were a vibrant shade of aquamarine and glowing softly. There were no obvious doors or windows. Where on Earth am I? In a giant blue gum ball?

After several minutes of panicked hyperventilation, Eris forced herself to calm down and try to make some sense of her situation.

Someoneor multiple someonesattacked me, she thought. They were wearing scaly gloves, for some weird reason. A prank gone way too far? I wouldn’t put it past some of my classmates. But Eris found the paralysis liquid more difficult to rationalize. Professional kidnappers? Barlow Collegiate has its fair share of trust-fund babies—they must have mistaken me for one, although my duct-taped book bag really should have given me away as a scholarship student. This must be just a colossal mistake.

Feeling slightly calmer, Eris examined her surroundings more closely. The only item of interest was a circular groove in the wall about six feet in diameter. She guessed it was the door, since the rest of the room was seamless and unmarked. Although it doesn’t look like any door I’ve ever seen. Eris decided to bang on it to see what would happen.

THUNK.

THUNK.

Just as her fist was about to thunk down again, the groove glowed a bright white. The door spiraled open like a camera’s shutter. Eris was caught off balance and tumbled forward, straight into a pair of scaly blue arms.

Gasping, Eris pushed herself away and staggered back. The creature before her was like something straight out of a sci-fi movie. Jagged blue scales covered its entire body, and it stood easily eight feet tall. It had six hands, each with webbed fingers and inch-long claws. A milky white gem on its forehead was glowing softly, and its slitted, purple eyes peered intelligently at her. The eyes were like nothing Eris had ever seen. Otherworldly eyes. In that instant, she came to a jarring realization.

“Alien,” she whispered.

Then she fainted.

*          *          *

When Eris regained consciousness, she found herself staring into slitted purple eyes. The creature was crouched over her, flicking its tri-forked tongue in and out from between scaly blue lips.

This isn’t a dream, she realized, starting to hyperventilate again. This is real. This … thing is real.

The creature made a phhh sound, splattering Eris’s face with moist, foul-smelling spittle. She screamed hysterically and scrambled away from the monster, pressing herself against the far wall.

The alien stood up, towering over her. Eris screamed again, holding her hands in front of her. “Leave me alone! Please! Go away!”

Flicking out its tongue again, the creature looked down at her and then abruptly turned and left.

As the door spiraled shut, Eris’s knees collapsed. She sank to the curved floor in shock. “I can’t believe it,” she whispered. “Aliens exist?”

Eris had always been skeptical of the existence of extraterrestrials. In her mind, they fell into the same category as dragons and vampires—fun to imagine but not real. For a few minutes, she tried to cling to the belief that this was just an elaborate hoax by some crazy group of people who enjoyed dressing up as scaly blue reptiles. But those eyes!

The memory of her captor’s otherworldly eyes made Eris feel certain that somehow, for reasons she could not possibly begin to fathom, she had been abducted by aliens. This terrifying prospect was so far outside her range of experience that Eris could do little more than sit silently, frozen with shock.

*          *          *

As the hours dragged by, alone in the gum ball cell, Eris’s initial terror was slowly replaced by bewilderment. She began to wonder why, of all the people on Earth, she was the one who had been abducted. She wasn’t the president of some country. She wasn’t the daughter of anyone important. She wasn’t particularly popular. To her knowledge, she had never done anything to offend anyone in any way. And she didn’t do drugs, or she would have attributed the whole thing to a really bad trip.

Maybe I’m actually their long-lost princess and they’ve come to bring me back to their planet, where I’ll be cherished and adored by my true people. Eris briefly entertained the notion and then discarded it as ridiculous. Could this really just be a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time?

The more Eris thought about her predicament, the more it began to infuriate her. Jumping to her feet, she shouted, “This is insane! Aliens shouldn’t even exist, let alone fly around kidnapping random people for the fun of it! Let me out of here, you scaly psychos!”

When she ran out of rage, Eris collapsed to her knees on the spongy floor. Cradling her head in her hands, she whispered,  “Please, just let me go,” even though she knew no one could hear her plea.

*          *          *

A short time later, the door spiraled open. A reptilian arm shot into the room, grabbed Eris by the hood of her sweater, and yanked her out.

As she struggled to gain her footing, Eris saw she was in a large, blue room with curved walls. A second blue alien was standing outside the cell. With no warning or explanation, Eris found herself pinioned between the two huge creatures. She wanted to ask what they intended to do with her, but the words died in her throat.

Eris held back her tears as the aliens frog-marched her around the edge of the room. Twenty or so small doors like the one through which she had just been pulled were set into the outer wall. In the center of the room was a large platform with a circular console covered with glowing buttons and small screens. Am I in an alien prison?

Her two escorts stopped at a large portal on the far side of the room. Beside the door, a shallow basin filled with a blue, jellylike substance was attached to the wall. One of the aliens, still keeping a painful grip on Eris’s arm, plunged its hand into the jelly. The portal opened, and they dragged her through.

The creatures marched Eris through a series of blue curved hallways. They stopped on a circular groove set into the floor. The floor glowed, and then the elevator column shot upward. As they rose, Eris caught brief glimpses of space through portholes in the wall. Oh my God. I really am in space!

When the elevator stopped, Eris was facing a huge, circular portal. It was fifteen feet high and encircled by bones—large bones and small bones of strange shapes and forms. She shuddered when she noticed a few bones near the top that looked uncomfortably familiar. God, I hope those aren’t human.

The door itself was carved with creatures that resembled Eris’s abductors. The alien figures were arranged around a central figure with dozens of wavering tentacles, three eyes, and a gaping mouth ringed by razor-sharp teeth. I’m going to die, Eris thought. This is the end. I am going to be devoured by six-armed aliens with a curious fondness for blue, and my bones will be strung up to serve as a door-frame decoration for their chieftain’s lair.

Before Eris could panic, one of her guards placed a clawed hand into the bowl of jelly protruding from the wall, and the door slid open. The guards dragged her into a large room. The outer wall was lined with more aliens, all seated in front of sleek computer stations. Above each station were circular screens, some showing complex-looking charts, others views of space. If I’m on a spaceship, Eris thought, this must be the bridge.

There was a raised platform in the center of the room on which was perched a monstrous chair that looked like it was made of some distant cousin of coral. Sitting in the chair was a reptilian creature somewhat larger than the aliens Eris had seen so far. The tips of its scales were a yellow-green color. The captain?

The creature swiveled in its chair and locked its glittering purple eyes onto Eris’s green ones. After a moment, it half-warbled, half-roared what sounded like a command. Her two guards shoved her forward, and she tumbled to her knees. She was so scared that she could barely think. Her eyes welled with tears.

The alien hissed loudly at her.

“What do you want from me?” Eris asked helplessly.

The shorter of her two guards cuffed her soundly across the head. Whimpering with pain as the big reptiles dragged her back to her feet, Eris decided it would be safer to keep her mouth shut.

As Eris cowered silently, the alien captain leaned forward as if to study its captive more intently. Then it hissed again, and a tri-forked purple tongue snaked out from its mouth and shot close to Eris’s face. When she flinched and tried to jump back, her guards held her immobile.

The captain’s tongue slid sinuously over Eris’s face, coating her skin with a thin layer of foul-smelling slime. She found the experience not only disgusting but also degrading as the three tips of the tongue traced paths across her cheek, over her lips, and up her nose. Teardrops started to trickle down her face, and the alien lapped them up. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried not to scream.

Apparently satisfied, the creature’s tongue slurped back into its mouth. Maybe it will let me go now that it’s finished its tongue bath, Eris prayed. Then the captain pulled out a long, bone-colored knife and began to stroke it.

Or maybe, she thought, I’m going to die after all.

Categories: My Works | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

VLOG #10 — Festivals & The Wheel of Imminent Danger!

Guys, I hate to say this, but … I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly. And by jelly, I am, of course, talking about my new vlog! It will feature:

  • My brother and I attempting to paint the Wheel of Imminent Danger
  • Footage from the Gathering on the Green arts festival
  • Footage from the For the Love of Arts street festival

To give some background, a family friend was awesome and built me a prize wheel (think Wheel of Fortune, but smaller and vertical). So Jesse (my brother) and I painted it with pretty colors, stuffed it in the car, and hauled it to assorted festivals over the last few weeks. The first festival went very well, the second very poorly — but fun was had, wheels were spun, books were sold, and candy was consumed. Watch the vlog to find out more!

 

 

Unrelated link of the day:

There’s still time to apply for the Mars One reality show! Never mind the fact that, with our current technology, you’ll probably receive a lethal dose of radiation whilst en route to Mars and subsequently die a horrible death!

Seriously though, Mars One is pretty cool. Click here to learn more about it.

Categories: My Works | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

Pictures From My Assorted Book Events (OMG)

It just occurred to me that I haven’t shared any pictures from either the Chapters book signing or the Gathering on the Green festival from last weekend. Shame!

First of all, we have some choice photos from the Chapters book signing …

981548_578877685467765_1040974210_o

Me at the signing with my shiny book.

983669_578879018800965_1806556668_n (1)

Mother and I chilling at the table near the end of the signing.

977592_578878188801048_2033377333_o

Just chattin’ up some peeps. No biggy.

970987_578878302134370_108298670_n (1)

My friends stopped by to say hi.

965565_578877828801084_936990823_o

Dramatic shot of the table.

485420_578878895467644_2110781384_n (1)

Mother is amused. I am not.

Next up, select photos from the Gathering on the Green folk festival …

976129_582471165108417_374967414_o

The Wheel of Imminent Danger! (And my friend Peter, who helped set up the booth.)

965500_582472141774986_1845801511_o

Me, myself, and I.

964088_582471438441723_95500996_o

Jesse (my brother) setting up the tent.

736860_582471888441678_1121486800_o

Dramatic shot of the table, including the legend for the Wheel of Imminent Danger!

736709_582472311774969_2001363220_o

Jesse and I at the booth. Note our classy set-up, tablecloth included.

704093_582472131774987_802753496_o

Close-up of our classy book display.

There you have it, folks! Two events down, two to go! Well, two that are scheduled, at least. I’m sure I’ll accidentally sign up for a few more before the summer ends. Thanks again to the lovely Rhiannon for photographing the above pictures. To see even more photos from these events, click here.

Unrelated media of the day:

I think we’ve had quite enough pictures for one day, don’t you? Here’s a cute video of a dog attempting to sing and play the piano.

Categories: My Works | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 49 Comments

New Goodreads Giveaway for Imminent Danger (link included!)

Hey guys — just checking in this morning before I head off to set up my festival tent at “The Gathering on the Green” (local arts festival), where I will be attempting to sell my book, Imminent Danger And How to Fly Straight into It.

Goodreads Giveaway Open!

As I mentioned yesterday, my giveaway for Imminent Danger is now open and waiting for all you lovely folks in Canada, the USA, the UK, and Australia to enter. Here’s the link

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17246542-imminent-danger

Go forth, enter, and enjoy!

Unrelated media of the day:

Categories: My Works | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments

Goodreads Giveaway Results + New VLOG!

Happy Friday, everyone! May your day be filled with lots of sunny goodness, preferably the non-sunburn-inducing sort.

Moving right along to my first topic: Goodreads Giveaways. There are mixed feelings about Goodreads Giveaways amongst the self-publishing community, because apparently a lot of authors who send out free copies of their books via the giveaway never hear from the winners again, or get the reviews they’re hoping for.

That wasn’t my experience at all, I’m pleased to say. I held the giveaway back in April, and the two ladies who won the contest were very sweet. They responded promptly to my messages querying them about their addresses, and how they wanted the books signed to them, and they’ve both now posted reviews up on Goodreads and Amazon. Maybe I just hit the jackpot with these winners, but I’d definitely say it was a good experience overall.

The giveaway also resulted in approximately 463 people adding Imminent Danger to their to-read list. Now, this might not translate into sales (I still haven’t received my first sales report from iUniverse, lol), but it at least puts my book on the radar, which is pretty decent. I can only hope that one day, in the distant fog of the future, someone will look at the their to-read list, see Imminent Danger, think “Heck with it”, and download that puppy so fast it grows up into an adult dog and starts barking at everyone with wild abandon.

Oh yes, and I’m going to be holding another Goodreads Giveaway starting tomorrow, so keep an eye out for that! Only one book up for grabs this time, but I did open up the competition to include Australia, so … yeah. Woo!

Once more unto the vlog …

One of the aforementioned ladies who won the Goodreads Giveaway mentioned that I should post some sort of pronunciation guide on my website for my book. The problem, of course, is that Imminent Danger is sci-fi, so there are assorted silly-named aliens and planets and technology and whatnot parading around. I’ve decided to one-up her request and create a vlog about pronunciation, partially because it’s a lot easier to figure out pronunciation if you hear it, rather than trying to sound it out phonetically, and partially because it was recently brought to my attention that I haven’t done a vlog in ages.

On with the show! (Note: If the lighting fluctuates wildly, blame Youtube — they decided to “fix” my video.)

Unrelated image of the day:

Categories: My Works | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 38 Comments

Promo Stickerz for the LA Times Book Festival

Happy Friday, my friends! Anyone else psyched that this cold, rainy week is finally over? Maybe the cold raininess is just an Ontario thing. Still … looking forward to being able to leave the apartment without needing both my full winter gear and an umbrella. It just seems wrong. Pick cold or rain, Mother Nature, not both. Get your act together. Geez.

Right! Moving on. So, as you may know, the LA Times Book Festival is coming up soon (April 20-21), and I’ve managed to wrangle the publicity company Blackbird LSD to represent me at their festival booth. Not to sound like too much of a fan girl, but they’re awesome!!! Check out the latest web banner they whipped up for Imminent Danger:

blackbird lsd _ imminent danger

Fun, right? And very dangerous, which is always good. I love that the cover is all “romance, love, mushiness”, and the ad is all “danger, death, omglazorspewpewpew”. Fun juxtaposition there.

Anyway, the real purpose of this post is to share some of my sticker “designs”, so-called. The stickers are being shipped to California as we speak, so fingers crossed they turn out the way they look on-screen – preferably better! Feel free to either praise or viciously insult my design skills at your leisure, although do recall that my heart is made of cotton candy and is prone to dissolving if exposed to too many tears.

STICKER_eris_paint

STICKER_shwoop_paint

The stickers themselves will only be 2×2 inches (tiny!), so I had to keep the designs simple. And yes, the top sticker image was drawn by the lovely and talented Celeste DeWolfe. And if anyone’s wondering, the grey text in the background of the second image says “SHWOOP”. That’s the sound spaceships make when they shwoop through space and time.

 

Other updates … Goodreads Giveaway finally finished!

Total entrants = 945. Not too shabby.

Let’s be honest, I was expecting maybe 300, tops, so I’m beyond thrilled. Of course, whether any of this results in reviews / sales remains to be seen, but I’m cautiously hopeful. And if not, well … still a fun experience! 

 

Unrelated link of the day:

Since I already bombarded you with a bunch of images already, today’s unrelated media will be a link. It is Game of Thrones related, specific to the latest episode that aired this past Sunday, so if you haven’t seen it … well, you won’t get the joke at all.

http://www.happyplace.com/23035/game-of-thrones-facebook-recap-season-3-episode-2

 

Categories: My Works, Self Publishing | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 31 Comments

Last chance to enter my Goodreads Giveaway!!!

… “last chance” being because the Giveaway is ending today, not because a giant asteroid is going to come crashing down on our heads, obliterate Mongolia, and engulf us all in a dust cloud that will blanket the world for three years, stop all crop growth, and starve us into extinction. Stop panicking! Good grief. You people are kind of paranoid, you know that?

Anyhoo, my Goodreads Giveaway ends tonight (around 2 a.m., for some bizarre reason), so if you haven’t entered for a chance to win my awesome-tastic book, Imminent Danger And How to Fly Straight into It, click the link below and get hopping!

http://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/show/47252-imminent-danger-and-how-to-fly-straight-into-it

Excellent form, my hoppers. You’re regular spring bunnies. And no, you don’t look at all ridiculous bouncing around your living room in your PJs — and don’t let anyone tell you differently!

Unrelated link of the day:

Cracked wrote an amusing article about punching writer’s block in the face — check it out:

http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-tips-punching-writers-block-in-face/

Unrelated media of the day:

Categories: My Works | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

And now … to cheat blatantly at Camp NaNoWriMo …

Well, maybe not cheat, per say. More like deviate slightly from the rules, while still sticking with the spirit of the event. Sort of …

As I explained in some post in the past, Camp NaNo is all about sitting down every day for a month and writing. Now, you’re supposed to start a new story from scratch. But to that I say PAH! As if I have time for such shenanigans. What I really need to do is finish the sequel to Imminent Danger, and I’m about 20k words out from doing exactly that. And since they changed the rules this year so you can set your own word count limit … talk about a golden opportunity for a little free motivation!

So, basically, I will be attempting Camp NaNo this year, and I urge you all to join me. You set the word count, so there’s no need to freak out about having to write 1,667 words a day, where failing damns you to the eternal purgatory of crushed literary dreams. And since I’m cheating blatantly, y’all should feel free to do the same!

Got a story squirrelled away somewhere that you never quite finished writing? First of all, stop squirrelling things away. It’s undignified. Second of all, grab that story, dust off the bark and acorn crumbs, and join me for a month of glorious writing awesomeness!

This concludes my confession / call to arms. Here’s a link to my camper profile. Feel free to add me, or friend me, or however the heck the internet works. To Camp Nano-finity, and beyond!!!

 

Related media of the day:

More fan art!!! Today’s offering comes from the lovely Kate Sparks. Check out her rendition of Miguri, the loveable, contraction-phobic alien:

Miguri-brighter

Related update of the day:

No news from iUniverse yet on the ebook pricing debacle. The general consensus seems to be that people in the USA see the correct price, and everyone else … well, doesn’t. If you live outside the USA and for some reason you can’t possibly live another second without reading the brilliant literary masterpiece that is my book, Google Play has the ebook for super cheap. Oh, and the free Goodreads Giveaway is ending in the near future. So check that out. Or not. Whatever pressurizes your escape capsule.

Unrelated media of the day:

An internet classic for you:

Categories: My Works, Writing | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 43 Comments

Blog at WordPress.com.