I dug up an old thumb drive and was going through some old files when I discovered a document called “YOLO Cruise”. It appears to consist of a series of “tweets” that I created, written by the world’s worst cruise line. Some of them were pretty funny, so I thought I’d share. I’ll also post them on my Twitter page (@michellishelli), because why the heck not?
Without further ado, I present to you: Tweets from the Worst Cruise Line Ever!
Captain completely plastered. If you can still walk in a straight line, report to command deck ASAP. #captainforaday #yolocruise
All lifeboats now replaced with bottles of rum. In case of ship evacuation, drink rum and use bottle as flotation device. #yohoho #yolocruise
Lost the first mate. Our stay in Barbados now extended until we find him, or until we run out of power, whichever comes first. #marcopolo #yolocruise
Random shore excursion day! Pick a bus and hope the fates are with you. #eeniemeenie #yolocruise
Our tech guys screwed up. From now on, there will be roving wireless hotspots. Grab your laptop and get moving, because the hotspots never stay in one place for long. #battleroyale #yolocruise
Chefs went on strike, so we tossed them overboard. Anyone with cooking experience (fast food counts), report to Deck 9. All volunteer cooks will get a chance to loot the chefs’ cabins. #omnomnom #yolocruise
Unrelated media of the day:
Source: http://clayyount.com/
Michelle Proulx - Author 
Well bad-ass swords and arrows to the appropriately named Achilles tendon. How did he not know that was his weak point when he was named after it? 😛 Love the last tweet.
Haha thanks. And Achilles certainly is silly, isn’t he? The one that always got me was, if he knows he’s vulnerable in the ankle, strap a metal plate over that sucka! Geez.
I wondered about that too, but it does make sense. A metal plate would restrict movement of tye ankle. He could even tear it if he turned and it didn’t go the right way.
Lol – excellent! 😀
Going through old files is so fun. You never know what you’ll find 😀
I feel that way with my dream journals. I often wonder what the hell my mother was feeding me at the time… 😀
Well, my mother used to stuff me full of spaghetti pizza (yes, that’s a thing) before I went to bed, so that would probably account for a lot of my insanity.
Oookaaay now (backing up slowly, hands raised in front of body). Good to know. 😀
This post pleases me in every way. *laughs all the way to the grave*
Oh dear. I hate when I accidentally kill someone via endless laughter. You’d think I’d have learned better by now.
I think you secretly enjoy it.
It’s kind of remarkable–and sad–how people have taken ‘you only live once’ to stupid extremes. But those tweets are hilarious!
Wow, that dress is holding together pretty impressively, all things considered.
One of my favorite and least favorite books (at the same time) are the Darwin Awards books. On the one hand, hilarious stories of people being complete idiots. On the other hand … people being complete idiots and getting themselves killed.
Was cleaning out our study a few weeks back and found a Great Ocean Road screen saver with 12 (count them. Twelve!) “Superb views”. The format, I hear you ask? 3.5 inch, 1.44 Megabyte floppy disk. Ah, the nostalia!