Friday is How To day, and today we’re tackling the topic of re-watching favorite TV shows!
Now, you might say this is the sort of topic that doesn’t require a How To. And you’d be right. Unfortunately for you, I’m the one writing this post, so I have all the power! AHAHAHAHA!
Right. It’s been a weird day. Moving on.
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How To Re-Watch Your Favorite TV Show
- Figure out what your favorite TV show is. If you can’t choose just one, there’s an easy solution. Grab a bunch of your friends and have them line up and write the name of a TV show you like on their shirt. From there, grab a paintball gun and let loose. The first person to break ranks and attack you is the winner!
- Acquire said show. DVD, Netflix, borrow it from the library, whatever. Just make sure you don’t pirate it. As that anti-piracy ad from the early 2000s famously said, “You wouldn’t download a car!” Except that anyone in their right mind would definitely download a car if they could, because you’d be stupid not to. So forget that ad. Just try to get your hands on the show without getting arrested. I believe in you!
- Create a distraction-free viewing space. This one is tricky. You’re going to be binge-watching this shizzle for at least a full two days, maybe three, so you need to make sure no one and no thing has the potential to interrupt you. If you live alone, perfect. If you have pets, regretfully inform them that everyone has to grow up and take care of themselves sometime, and that day is today. They might whine at first, but eventually they’ll thank you for the gift of adulthood and responsibility you’ve bestowed upon them. If you have roommates, dispose of them. The manner of disposal is up to you. If they’re being particularly difficult to remove, I know a guy.
- Plan out your food consumption. Remember, this is a multi-day event, and just stocking up your fridge with groceries isn’t going to cut it. You don’t have time to cook, dammit! You’ve got TV to watch! Instead of stockpiling groceries, stockpile delivery fliers. And don’t forget: you are contractually obligated to leave the show running while you race to answer the door and pay the delivery guy/gal. Pausing is a sign of weakness.
- Start watching. Remember, no pausing. You’re allowed to do other things while watching, like play Candy Crush on your phone, or two-monitor it up and check your email on the second screen, but don’t you dare turn off that show for anything less than a zombie outbreak. Even then, zombies are surprisingly polite, and will almost definitely hold off on eating you until you’ve had a chance to finish your marathon if you ask nicely.
- Do NOT re-watch the pilot once you’ve finished your marathon. This is a rookie mistake. You finish the last episode, you lie back, and your heart is so full of emotion and heartbreak that you think, “Hey, I know the perfect way to end this marathon–I’ll re-watch the pilot!” It seems like the perfect solution–you can hold off leaving the show’s magical world for at least another 42 minutes, not to mention you get to see the fun juxtaposition of first episode vs. last. IT IS A TRAP. Watching the pilot leads to watching the next episode. And then the next after that. Soon enough, it’s a week later, you’re halfway through your third re-watching, you’ve lost your job, your significant other has left you for an attractive panini artisan, and your landlord is knocking on the door to make sure you haven’t died and been eaten by cats.
- Wait 14-16 months, and do it all over again. The time gap is necessary to help you forget how royally you screwed up your life during your previous marathon.
Hehehe. I laugh, but honestly, binge-watching TV shows is one of life’s small pleasures. My current show of choice is Avatar: The Last Airbender / Legend of Korra. Don’t worry, I haven’t assassinated my roommates or been eaten by cats. Yet. I’m only halfway through, so there’s still time.
Unrelated media of the day:
I’m pretty sure I’ve shared this before, but since we’re all freaking out over the newest Star Wars trailer …
Michelle Proulx - Author 