Want Imminent Danger Swag? Email Me!

Have you ever dreamed of owning your very own Imminent Danger bookmark? Well, dream no more, my friends! I have a boatload of bookmarks and stickers that are getting dusty on my shelves, and I just bought a shiny new 50-pack of envelopes, so I’m putting out a call to all my adoring fans:

If you want Imminent Danger swag, email me with your address and I’ll send you some!

Before anyone gets overly excited, we’re talking bookmarks and stickers here, people — not, like, a pony with my book cover shaved into its side. That’s animal cruelty, which is very bad. Shame on you.

So if you want some ID swag, email me (michellishelli@gmail.com) your address, and I’ll do my best to make it happen. Obviously if I get 500 emails (unlikely, but I’m allowed to dream too, dammit!), I won’t be able to send out swag envelopes to everyone, so we’ll say this is a first come, first serve offer.

Now fire up that inbox and send me all your juicy personal information!

Unrelated media of the day:

Correct usage of quotation marks is a must for the savvy writer …

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Categories: Random | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

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11 thoughts on “Want Imminent Danger Swag? Email Me!

  1. As Mr. T might have put it, “Swag me, you fool! Swag me now!” *rushes off to email*

  2. Irony quotes around some of those potentially convey information, moving the situation from a lie to caveat emptor.

    I have no idea what the third option betwixt watching and not watching would be. The camera is pointed at you but the resolution is too low for usable detail maybe?

    • The one that alarms me the most is “Sprinklers” throughout building. If they aren’t sprinklers, what the heck are they? Possible answers range from tediously dull to potentially life-threatening. A sprinkle of bullets via an automated machine gun turret, for example.

      • Having trained as a lawyer, that one didn’t make me blink at all. ‘Sprinkler’ might have a specific meaning regarding ranges of pressure, dispersion, &c., so a “sprinkler” could be something that emits water when the sensor detects fire that does not meet all the criteria to be a ‘Sprinkler’,

  3. Happy swag “delivering.” Wait, did I use those quotation marks wrong? 😉
    Some of those signs hurt my head as much as my eyes. So much ridiculousness!

    • Heh, thanks. You used the quotation marks correctly if you’re using American spelling. Canadian/British, I believe you want to put the period outside the quotations 😀

  4. I am so gonna email you. Also, you’re quotation mark collection is stunning…I have varied and inappropriate questions about the “meat service” and what it means to “wash hands.” 😉

    • Email me! Do it! I’m mailing off a batch of letters probably tomorrow, so get your order in before it’s too late 😛 The “meat service” one is definitely more suggestive than they intended, lol. I wonder if they ever got any English tourists going up and trying to discretely inquire what it actually means.

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