Jedi Armen, my teddy bear protector, bearer of the One Ring of Power. He’s very fierce.
Since I’m apparently incapable of making up my own mind, I pose this question to you: how should I title my chapters?
Here are the options:
Option #1
Chapter 27
Option #2
27
Option #3
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Recall that Imminent Danger is a YA sci-fi/romance book. I don’t know if that’s relevant. I’m personally leaning towards Option #2 (just the number), because I spend most of my life these days shortening my manuscript so I’m going through a minimalist phase.
But my book stopped being a dictatorship a long time ago, so time for democracy to get its say:
Feeling multicultural? Check out this ridiculous K-Pop video:
That’s all she wrote. Have a kick-bottom Wednesday, amigos.
So I was scrolling through my “Blogs I Follow” page yesterday, and I found this post by Jason Alan. In the post, he mentions that he’s had his book of poetry, Poetry of a Madman,up on Amazon for over a year with no reviews. And I thought to myself, “I can review things”. Hence this post. Oh, and check out that link, because he’s offering the kindle edition for free (for a limited time), so snap up a copy before it’s too late!
The Book
Poetry of a Madman
The Genre
Poetry
The Author
I don’t know much about Jason, so instead I will quote the blurb on his WordPress blog: “Short stories, rants, poetry, unfinished novels, and look! Cows!”
The Plot
It’s a book of poetry. It doesn’t have a plot. Sheesh.
Basically, it’s a collection of poems, most of them by Jason, with the first section devoted to guest poets.
The Review
Poetry of a Madman was a very interesting read. My experience with poetry is mostly limited to what I read in English class, so I didn’t have any expectations going in. And I was quite impressed with what I found.
Many of the poems are about serious topics — current issues, the human state, etc. — but there are also a selection of more light-hearted pieces that really drew me in. One of my favourite poems was “i am, part one”, which Jason wrote years ago, lost, and is now trying to recreate. I loved the cadence of the poem and the imagery he used — when I read it, I found myself kind of singing along in my head. I think this poem would make an excellent song.
Another favourite was “digital heartache”. I don’t want to give away too much, but to give you a taste of the awesome:
“my farmville crop is sprouting weeds
these angry birds have too many needs
my mafia family has ceased to get paid
and my warcraft warrior never gets laid”
The book has a lovely blend of poetry. There are sad poems, happy poems, quirky poems, funny poems, and thought-provoking poems. I’m a bubbly person by nature, so I enjoyed the funny/quirky ones the most. But overall I thought Poetry of a Madman was a great poetry collection, and I definitely recommend it to all you poetry lovers out there.
Yesterday I began my epic quest to cut 21,307 words from Imminent Danger. Gah. I knew it would be a big job going in, but cutting that many words is something you can’t really understand until you’ve experienced it for yourself.
The first thing I did was print out the book, then grab a red pen and flip through it. I wasn’t doing a line-by-line edit, I was looking for entire sections that I could chop out. You know, scenes that were fun but didn’t contribute to the story, unnecessary exposition, too-long battle scenes, etc. So I spent a few hours doing that.
Then I went into Word and cut out all the sections I’d circled. I was pretty excited, because I got rid of several large chunks, so I was hoping for a massive reduction in word count. The result? I cut 3,000 words. Now, that’s a lot of words. But it’s nowhere close to 20k. Back to the drawing board.
Since cutting out major chunks didn’t work, I’ll have to go through the story line by line. And while this is easily the most onerous editing task I’ve ever undertaken, I’m buoyed by the thought that when I’m finally finished, my book will be better than ever before. What I really need is one of those eighties training montages, where there’ll be shots of me frowning at my manuscript, sitting in different positions around my living room, drinking coffee, falling asleep at my desk, etc. And then two minutes of montaging will pass, and I’ll thunk the completed manuscript down on the desk while triumphant music plays in the background.
Like that’s going to happen.
I’ll keep you updated as I go. I’ve cut out approximately 3,600 words so far, with another thousand hopefully going today. I need to be done soon, because I need to get the book published before the end of October if I want to take advantage of the Christmas season.
As for getting the book copy-edited, I’m still on the fence. A few of you have said that $2,200 is way too much to spend on editing, which I agree with. The other alternative, however, is to do it myself, then run the risk of missing something and being eternally embarrassed when everyone and their mothers point it out to me. Here are the three options, as I see it:
Option One: iUniverse copy-edit
$2,200, 2-3 weeks, guaranteed placement into the Editor’s Choice program (which opens the book up for other assorted awards)
Option Two: freelance copy-edit
I don’t know how much freelancers charge. I assumed it would be less than iUniverse, but the first link I looked at was $30 per 1000 words — e.g. $3,000. Anyone know any good, cheap copy-editors?
After the freelance copy-edit, I would fork over another $250 to iUniverse for a return evaluation, where they would consider me for Editor’s Choice (placement not guaranteed).
Option Three: do it myself
This one is free, obviously, plus $250 for the return evaluation. My current thought is to start with this option, submit the manuscript, and see what happens. If I get the Editor’s Choice, grand. If not, I can consider getting a professional copy-edit. Although if the manuscript isn’t up-to-snuff, I’m paying an extra $250 for the return evaluation with nothing to show for it.
I recently discovered the “poll” function on WordPress, so I’m putting this to a vote. What do you think? What should I do?
Ain’t it purdy? I gotta use polls more often. And thanks for listening to me ramble!
Internet funtimes
I’m pretty sure everyone in the entire universe has seen this video, but I nevertheless present it here for your nostalgic viewing pleasure (note: the song rocks, but the real fun begins at 0:50):
I don’t want to be sued for copyright infringement, so here is my photograph of turtles. Enjoy.
The big news in my little part of the cosmos is that I got my Editorial Evaluation back! To remind you, I’m self-publishing through iUniverse, and the first step of the publication process is they have an editor go through the book and do an evaluation. At the end of the evaluation they give you recommended edits to make–which basically means they tell you which of their editing services they want you to buy. But we’ll tackle that topic in another post. So, without further ado …
What the Evaluation said!
I actually got the email about my evaluation being complete right before I was about to head out to Stratford to go see Pirates of Penzance. The play was pretty good — I love the Tarantara soldiers. Since I really wanted to read the evaluation, I printed it out and brought it along for the ride. I shall now give you a summary of what I read.
So what they basically do is break down the evaluation into several categories. Then in each category they have a checklist, where the answer can be either “Yes” (as in, yes, you rock, this is good), or “Needs Work” (which is fairly self-evident). The first category deals with the marketing text (correct genre, is the work suitable for the target audience, etc.). I passed that one with flying colours. Next up: title. Apparently my title is appropriate for my book, so huzzah, I guess.
Now for the Opening. My first page grabs the reader’s attention — probably a good thing for a book to do. I began to notice at this point that aside from the checklist, the “evaluation” mostly consisted of the editor copying chunks of the book into the evaluation document and basically providing a summary of the plot. Which is fine. At least it shows they read the book, so they do have some idea of what they’re talking about.
I ran into trouble at the “Basic Premise and Tone” section. The plot and everything is fine — what tripped up the editor is the word count. The editor starts off saying:
“The author has wonderful writing skills and a vivid imagination … Relationships are fully developed. In fact, some of the humorous banter reminds one of the relationship between Princess Leia and Han Solo from Star Wars.”
COPYRIGHT NOTE: All quotes from the Editorial Evaluation in this post belong to iUniverse. Please don’t sue me. I’m harmless.
Woo! I love compliments. Especially when Star Wars references are involved. Kudos to my editor for being awesome. But remember how I mentioned the word count being an issue? Here’s the editor’s thoughts on that:
“Regarding the language level — at 121,307 words, this novel is too long. Especially in this tight economy (and even before it), traditional publishing houses normally do not take on books longer than 100,000 words, because of the cost of publication. In fact, most publishers of YA novels suggest that they should be around 45k-75k words long. It’s always best to adhere to required word length parameters. Not doing so is enough to prompt rejection from traditional publishing houses.
Besides that, practically every novel can benefit from pruning and tightening. There are places were cuts would improve the plot of this book. One place is where explanations of details about the fantasy world slow down the pace of scenes. Every little cut an author can make will tighten the plot and allow her to develop the most important characters and plot points.”
Phew! So basically, my book is too long. I’d suspected this was the case, but I guess it took the Editorial Evaluation to really drive that home. I’m sure my shortening woes will deserve a blog post of their own, so we’ll move on for now.
Next up was “Structure, Plot and Pace.” I got another “Needs Work” on “Does each incident or action propel the reader forward or provide needed but succinct background information?”. This ties into the word count thing. Once I cut unnecessary scenes, this should no longer be a problem.
Dum-de-dum, flipping through my pages … here we go! Here’s some random quotes:
“The last one-fourth of the book contains a rousing, all-out space war. Battles and clever one-liners are fun to read.
An Epilogue ends on a note of humor, with a hint of a sequel to come.”
Yup. So basically, I need to make it shorter. Le sigh.
Moving on to “Setting” — everything fine there. Characterization also received thumbs ups across the board, as did Dialogue. Now we’re really moving along! Then we hit … Basic Punctuation and Grammar.
Yes, you guessed it. I scored a “Needs Work” here. Noooooooes! Considering that I had approximately 15 well-educated individuals read over the manuscript before I submitted it, I’d really hoped I’d get a good score here. The errors they found actually weren’t that bad. I spell “all right” incorrectly (I spell it “alright”, which is sometimes correct, but definitely not for an American market). I didn’t capitalize “God” (for shame!). And there was a discrepancy in quotation punctuation that is entirely because I’m Canadian and didn’t know that Americans punctuate differently. Oh, and they didn’t like some of my commas. So yeah, that happened.
Final notes!
This post is getting long. I’ll try to type faster (that’s how you make posts shorter, right?). So at the end they give “General Comments about the Manuscript”, which is basically a reiteration of what was already said. Since quotes are fun, here’s a quote:
“This author has remarkable writing skills and a unique vision. She has also wisely accepted the help of a large group of helpers/editors (listed in the Acknowledgements at the end of the book). That makes this book a well-conceived, professionally-written, and enjoyable read.
The only weakness is the excessive length, but I feel the author has the skills to successfully do some cutting that would tighten the narrative and bring it into accepted word length parameters. Then the book will be absolutely awesome!
The author says her dream of becoming a published author has come true. I predict she can go far in her writing career, and I wish her all success in her future writing.”
As you can imagine, I’m pretty pleased with this evaluation. It sucks that I’ll have to do more editing (six years of editing and counting!), but I really do want this book to be the best it can. As my mother says, “This book is your introduction to the world. So you want it to be amazing.” I certainly do, mother, I certainly do.
And now for the “Editorial Rx Referral”
This is the part where they tell you what edits you have to do if you want to be in the “Editor’s Choice” program. More about this in a later post. But basically, this is a rewards program that gets you extra benefits, a nice “Editor’s Choice” logo on your book, and other assorted things from iUniverse. It absolutely does not translate into book sales, although it definitely doesn’t hurt potential sales.
The editor says:
“First the author is encouraged to do some pruning and tightening of the material. Then a Copyedit is recommended to fix errors in grammar, spelling, and punctuation.
Optional: A Developmental Edit would help the author cut and tighten.”
What this basically means is that if I want to be in their Editor’s Choice program, I need to get my book copyedited. I don’t have to do it through iUniverse, but if I get it done somewhere else, I have to pay a $249 resubmission fee, and then if it doesn’t pass the evaluation, I’ll be right back where I started (and considerably poorer).
iUniverse copyediting costs $0.022 per word. For a 100,000 word book, that works out to about $2,000. That’s a lot of money. At the same time, there are evidently punctuation/grammar errors I am making that I didn’t even know about. Because I’m a Canadian trying to write for an American market, there’s the added complication of our different grammar/spelling rules. And they also look at things like internal consistency, cross-checking facts, bringing the book up to standardized style guidelines, etc.
So what now?
Now I cut down the book by 21,307 words. Once I’m done that, I seriously consider whether or not I want to get a Copyedit done. Again, more on that in a later post. But if you have any opinions on any of this right now, please comment and let me know!
On a more musical note …
No Doubt has released a new song! Maybe they did this months ago, I don’t know, but I just found out about it now, so here you go!
Remember that blog tour I mentioned I was taking part in? Well, the day has finally arrived! Today we have with us Tania L Ramos, author of the adult romance/drama Be Still (click here for my review). She’s an extremely talented author who I met over WordPress, and she’s here to share some thoughts with us about how to set realistic, achievable goals.
So here’s what you need to do if you want to be awesome:
1. Read the guest post. I really enjoyed reading it, and I think you will too.
2. Enter the giveaway! Go to Tania’s Facebook pageand find the “Blog Tour with Michelle Proulx, Post Comments Here” post (should be easily spotted). Leave a comment saying that you read this blog post, as well as your email address. Then you will be entered for a chance to win a softcover copy of Be Still! For free! Woo!
3. If so inclined, you can also check out Tania’s website. There’s lots of information there about her, her book, etc. Do it!
And so, without any further ado, Tania’s guest post!
Tania L Ramos, author of Be Still
Hello friends of Michelle Proulx and thank you for following my blog tour. My name is Tania L Ramos, author of two books titled, “When I Thought I Was Tough,” and most currently, “Be Still.” By day I am a registered nurse in a recovery room. By night I punch away at my keyboard and put on my author hat. Currently, I am a marketer, publicist, and social media novice all for my most current book. Most importantly, I am an independent author and that has been the scariest part.
Like so many others, I dreamed of being published and getting paid for what I love to do. Then I discovered that was like saying I wanted to be an award winning actress in Hollywood. Well, I had my fifteen seconds of Hollywood fame when I played (in a non-speaking roll) a paramedic for several episodes of the television show E.R. I was never discovered and, so, I went on into my role of being a real medical professional then chose to start writing during a very bleak period in my life. That bleak period is a whole other story, one of those Hallmark television after-school specials.
With my time off I wrote my first novel. I thought I would have been happy at that, but all that did was spark a great fire for the desire to be an accomplished author. What is accomplished? I had a few goals in mind went I decided to independently publish, “Be Still.”
Goals:
1. Have a professional looking book (accomplished)
2. Have a book signing (accomplished)
3. Reach a rank of less than 1,000,000 on Amazon (accomplished…for a few hours)
4. Have a book party (accomplished)
5. Have a book trailer up (accomplished)
6. Have an author video interview up (accomplished)
7. Do a blog tour (in process of being accomplished)
8. Sell 250 book by August 31,2012 (short about half, but there’s still time)
My guest post today is about having goals and making them realistic. Sure, I would love to be a NY Times Best Seller and have a company pay me to write instead of investing my own money to write, but it takes baby steps. There are many authors out there who started out self-published and eventually won out the big publishing houses, but even those authors would say they had to first pay their dues. Never, or at least rarely, do things come without working at it first.
I have paid over $6,000 into being published. And I do not mind saying that. There are many authors who refuse to reveal numbers, but I’m here to state the truth, so other authors going this route know they aren’t alone. Over $6,000 in publishing and at least another $2,500 in marketing and publicity. I have tried it all. I made a commitment to put any money I make back into marketing or into publishing my next book. I didn’t expect to make a profit, but wouldn’t scoff at it should that happen. I am a relatively unknown author and have prepared myself to pay my dues.
I set goals first off, and placed them on a blackboard in bright shiny colors to see every morning. The list above are just some of my goals, there are many more: send out a press release, create a Facebook fan page, start using Twitter, etc. Every day I set out to complete one task and called it an accomplishment. I celebrated every minor milestone such as hugging the woman who had no clue who I was but bought my book at the mall anyways. What was all the hubbub? Someone who didn’t know me from Eve bought a book! To me that was a major ordeal. When I sold my first ten books I shouted for joy and posted it to every social media outlet I could. Again, it wasn’t the 250 by August, but it was a milestone on my way to the bigger picture. I celebrate everything so nothing too small can ever be a disappointment.
A few weeks ago I did a book signing at High Desert Oasis Used bookstore’s grand re-opening event. I sold one book. Just one. I called it a bonus day. You know why? The guy who bought my book met me at the mall the week before and promised he would show up to the bookstore for my signing event. And he did. That was one of the most special books I have sold yet. And still, I only sold one book that day. It wasn’t so much the sale as knowing he came back to see me because he was very curious about the book. Milestones.
This blog tour has been such a huge ordeal for me. I didn’t know many people before writing my book. In fact, I could name all my friends on one hand. I’m socially awkward and a great savant at being perpetually recluse. Thusly, I write. So creating a book tour took so much time and emotional energy. I had to start networking, start putting myself and my emotions out there, and start speaking up. Some of you may empathize.
I was turned down by five people whom I invited to join my blog tour. I was psychologically devastated and emotionally mortified. But in between all those rejections were acceptance replies. I told myself I would do the tour even if just one person accepted. Just one. I had five people accept. Instead of wallowing in devastation I celebrated my accomplishment. FIVE PEOPLE ACCEPTED.
Not only am I hitting milestones and accomplishing goals, but I’m changing who I am. I can talk to people about my book. And conversely people are asking me questions. I have joined clubs and volunteered to do speaking events. People are contacting me now. But everyday, I still create and reach for goals. Today I am coming to you from Las Vegas, Nevada where I am working on another goal: research, video and photos of the Extraterrestrial Highway for my next book (based on aliens for young adults). There is always a goal…
I feel like a superstar and so should you in every minor and major accomplishment. Hug the lady who buys your book and has no clue who you are. Let them know they are superstars in your world. Rejoice in the person who remembers who you are and comes back. Be delighted if only one person accepts your request to host a blog tour, but jump to the sky if you get five. Take a picture of the moment you sell ten books, twenty-five, fifty and finally hit your goal. Never, never, never look at a goal as missed but look at it as an extended journey. Books are forever. It may take twenty years to hit a goal, but don’t forget to shout out loud on the day you hit that mark. Never lose sight of your dream, because nobody else can dream it for you. And when you reach that goal, after the celebration, make a new one. And if you can’t be among the stars…write about them.
Tania L. Ramos. This is her second novel, which is self-published through iUniverse. Check out her blog and her website for more information!
The Plot
Plastic surgeon Jack Silver thinks his life is perfect – until he loses his daughter and wife in a series of tragic events. A decade later, Jack discovers that he is dying. He desperately wants to reconnect with his estranged son Travis, but Travis wants nothing to do with his father. Enter Dr. Christina Amity, Jack’s protégé and dear friend, who strives to help father and son work out their issues before Jack’s disease claims him. But even as Christina and Travis grow closer, Jack finds himself inching towards death, drawn by what he thinks is the spirit of his dead wife. Will Jack make peace with his son before he rejoins his wife and daughter in the afterlife? Will the emotionally-damaged Travis ever find love? Read Be Still to find out!
The Review
Let me start by saying that, despite the genre of this book being the polar opposite of what I usually read, I really enjoyed Be Still. The plot was engaging and well thought out, the characters relatable and believable. It’s a tragic story that’s at the same time uplifting, and I would definitely recommend it to anyone who likes the romance/drama genre.
I’m going to be honest, I wasn’t the hugest fan of Jack Silver. He basically gives up on living after his wife dies, withdrawing from the world and from his son, all of which really irked me. I have a hard time connecting with parent characters who emotionally abandon their children. At the same time, I totally understand why he did what he did because his plot arc was beautifully written, so even though I didn’t really like the character, Tania still got me to sympathize with him.
On the other hand, I loved Travis and Christina. Their romance is sweet, and realistic, and flawed, because when does love ever go smoothly? I actually found myself caring more about Jack because I was seeing him through Travis and Christina’s eyes, and it was bittersweet because their shared grief over his impending death is one of the things that brings them together.
I quite enjoyed Tania’s writing style. It flowed nicely, and it was very easy for me to lose myself in the story. One criticism I would make is that the description sometimes got a little flowery, but for all I know that’s the norm for this genre of writing. It certainly didn’t detract from the story, it just made me pause and think, “Goodness, that’s a lot of adverbs”.
The Rating
4 out of 5 stars, plus an “Awww!” factor of 8 puppies.
Remember that blog tour I mentioned?
If you have an excellent memory, you’ll remember that I’m participating in a blog tour next week – the blog tour of Tania L Ramos, to be specific, aka the author of Be Still! Whoa. Crazy coincidence, right? Anyway, here’s a reminder of the blog tour dates:
Tania is also holding a sweepstakes right now, which can be viewed on her Facebook page. Basically, for every 100 books she sells by August 30th, she will donate a copy of her book to a high school of the winner’s choice. It only works for U.S. schools (something about foreign policy), and she promises to donate a book even if she doesn’t hit the 100 books sold mark. And if you’re poor like me and don’t want to buy a copy, you can still go to the Sweepstakes tab on the Facebook page and enter anyway.
So come back next Monday for my leg of the blog tour!
Tania will be writing a guest post about … about … okay, we really don’t know yet. If you have any ideas, sound off in the comments! She’s a self-published author, so maybe you have some questions you’d like her to answer? Just relay them in the comments section here and I’ll forward them to her.
I actually got on this topic because of the following video:
Now, I would like to clarify that I am aware Phantom Menace is a prequel, not a sequel. I do understand the distinction. But it’s basically the same concept — you’re continuing a story that’s already been established.
So here’s my question to you — how do you write a good sequel?
I am currently reworking the sequel to Imminent Danger, that book I keep babbling about that I will be self-publishing sometime this century. And I’m racked with self-doubt (“wracked”?) because it has to be as good as the first book, but I’m not sure how to make it that way. As the fast-talking man in the Star Wars video says, sequels/prequels need to be new and original, but they also have to evoke a feeling of familiarity. So how do we achieve that delicate balance?
My current strategy is to write the story I want to write, then get someone else’s opinion on how it holds up as a sequel. I can’t be a good judge of that, because I wrote it. I’m too close to it to see it clearly for what it is. I think that’s where George Lucas went wrong – he was so confident in his own artistic brilliance that he disregarded other opinions, hence the mediocrity of Phantom Menace and, to a slightly lesser extent, the other two prequels. I’m not going to lie, I actually do quite like Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith (parts of them, anyway), but there’s no way I would ever call them better than the original trilogy.
Another thing I’ve tried doing is going back and reading the first book and writing down the things that I liked about it, the things that made me laugh, the things that made me “awww!”, etc. Then (hypothetically), I will take that list and apply it to the sequel.
I don’t know. What makes a good sequel? How can you ensure a sequel’s as good as the original? Can an author be trusted to reliably evaluate their own work?
Cool news for Chuck/Thor fans:
Zachary Levi (Chuck!) has been cast as Fandral in the upcoming Thor sequel. Fandral, to remind you, is Thor’s Asgardian friend, the skinny, blonde, mustachio-ed guy with the rapier. Or was it a legit longsword? I don’t remember. Anyway, I’m extremely excited because I love Chuck, and I love Thor, and it’s going to be awesome having them together! Click here to read the article and watch Zach’s interview with Leno.
Have you ever been doing something completely normal, like walking in the park, or watching an old Disney movie you haven’t seen in years, and then see/hear something that just reaches right down into your soul and makes you feel like anything’s possible?
This happened to me recently. I was playing Kingdom Hearts (if you own a PS2 and haven’t played this game, you need to go buy it right now), and one of the levels is set in “Deep Jungle”, which is based off Disney’s Tarzan. I realized that I hadn’t seen Tarzan in years (probably not since it came out), and I was like, “Heck, why not, I’ve got nothing better to do.”
So I downloaded it. Not going to lie, it’s not the best Disney movie out there – probably doesn’t even crack the top 5. But the Phil Collins musical montages are great, and Jane Porter is hysterically British. Then the third and final montage of the movie came on — “Strangers Like Me” by Phil Collins, in which Tarzan learns all about humans and their achievements, and all the wondrous things he’s missed while living in the jungle.
If you want to just watch the clip, click here. If not, here’s what happens. Basically, Jane fires up a slide projector and shows Tarzan various images – a gentleman in a suit, a city, etc. Then a dancing couple appears, and Tarzan and Jane start doing this really bad yet adorable dance … and then this happens:
The music has been crescendo-ing since the first note of the song, and now it reaches it’s peak as Phil Collins howls, “I just know there’s something bigger out there! I wanna know! Can you show me?”
And I got the most massive case of chills all up and down my spine. My skin is goosebump-ing right now, just thinking about it. Something about that combination of space imagery (man, I LOVE anything to do with space), music, and lyrics just makes me feel incredibly inspired, like I’ve just been a part of something special and unique that no one else has experienced. And that’s crazy, because hundreds of thousands of people have seen Tarzan … but I have to wonder if they were so impacted by it in the way that I was. Maybe I’m crazy. The evidence is as of yet inconclusive.
Does anyone else feel this way? You’re doing something totally innocuous, and then you see/hear something that staggers you, makes your whole world spin, makes you feel like you’ve just been privy to something unbelievably amazing, even if just for a brief moment? That’s what inspiration feels like, for me.
I’d love to hear about what inspires you. When I hear that Tarzan song, I just want to sit down at my keyboard and write until the sun rises. How do you get inspired to write? Are there certain things you do to get you in the writing mood? Or do you just get randomly hit by things that strike you as incredibly profound?
Like many writers out there, I got my start in fanfiction. I began with a delightfully terrible Harry Potter fanfic called “The Heir of Gryffindor”, which involved Harry getting horribly abused by the Dursleys and then being rescued by Sirius Black, who for some reason owned a mansion in the English countryside and had a fondness for mint humbugs. Yeah …
Then I progressed to my first real novelling attempt–a massive, 241,317 word fic entitled “Harry Potter and the Dream Come True”. Basically, James Potter comes back to life, hilarity ensues, and Harry finds the family he’s always been dreaming of (hence the title). It started off sweet and heartfelt, but has now become rather bizarre. I also haven’t updated it in about three years–shame on me! I’m sure I’ll get back to it one day.
But my most successful fanfiction by far has been my latest, a Hunger Games fic called “Life Through Sea Green Eyes”. People love it, and a few fans have even started translating it into Chinese. Awesome, right?! There’s a link on my “Fanfiction” page (located on the sidebar) if you’re interested.
On to the main event!
I used to read a lot of HP fanfiction. In fact, I probably spent more time reading HP fanfics in high school than I did playing WoW in university. Anyway, here are three of my favourites, two of which I’ve actually had printed out on Lulu.com so I can have them on my bookshelf forever. If you’re a HP fan and you haven’t read these, I suggest you get cracking!
Semi Charmed Life
Within the Marauder band of Merry Men, Sirius is the dashing Will Scarlet. Seventh year, his goal is to help Robin woo Maid Lily, avoid sermons from Friar Moony, aid a rat in need, and win the love of a fair lady.
This is a funny, romantic Sirius/Rosmerta fic with a little Lily/James and some Lucius-induced drama thrown in on the side. I particularly enjoyed the depiction of Hogsmeade daily life, as well as gratuitous Sirius-on-motorbike-wearing-black-leather scenes. This is one of the fics that I printed out, because I’m just that awesome. Go here to read.
Learning to Breathe
Harry Potter is 16 years old. He already defeated Voldemort, with the help of his Godfather Sirius Black. Now he is in for the biggest challenge of his life: attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
This is an AU (alternate universe, for the uninitiated) fic about how things would have gone if Sirius had never gone to Azkaban, and had instead raised Harry as the ultimate warrior. The story actually startsafter Harry defeats Voldemort, and revolves around him trying to fit in at Hogwarts when all he’s known is being a soldier. It’s Ginny/Harry, so she plays a big role in helping him acclimatize to civilian life. It gets a little weird at the end, but it’s a really great fic, and has lots of re-read value. Go here to read.
Draco Malfoy the Amazing Bouncing Rat
Draco Malfoy, magically transformed into an evil rat. Who is it who always seems to get the evil rats as pets, and what is poor, poor Draco’s new name? Eventually D/Hr, just now mainly D/coffee…
My favourite HP fanfic of all time. As the plot summary suggests, Draco is turned into a rat and ends up living with Harry and the gang in Gryffindor tower. It’s full of brilliant one-liners, and basically just gives me a warm, fuzzy, happy feeling when I read it. This is the other fic I had printed out.
One problem with this fic is that it has apparently vanished from the internet. Neither the fanfic.net link nor the fictionalley.org link works. However, I did find this horribly-formatted site that has the complete text: click here to read. Expand the first menu and read the chapters as you please. Again, the formatting is squished and weird, so if you are interested in reading this fic (which I highly recommend!), I suggest doing a Google search and seeing what else you can find. Or I guess you could also copy/paste the text into a Word doc and change the paragraph settings so that the line spacing is double, which would make the formatting much easier to read.
Google “Harry Potter Fanfiction”, and here’s what comes up:
Fanfiction ftw!
I’m mostly past my fanfic-reading stage, but reminiscing is fun! What were your favourite fanfics / did you ever read fanfiction? For that matter, did you ever write fanfiction? Was it terrible? Was it awesome? Tell me!
So remember how I wrote that post about a character creation quiz? From the awesome that is Dungeons & Dragons comes yet another cool tool to help out we imagination-starved authors.
Squid.org’s Random Name Generator doesn’t just generate random silly fantasy names. It also generates random silly fantasy plots, silly fantasy town names, silly fantasy monsters, and even tree-types. The trees aren’t silly, but it’s still fun that someone made a random generator for them!
There’s about 40 different generators to choose from, and they’re all fantastic. Even if you don’t want to write a fantasy story, I’d say it’s worth checking out just for the sheer entertainment value. Here are some of my favourites:
Generator: dramatic-situation
LOSS OF LOVED ONES
Elements: A kinsman slain, a kinsman spectator, and an executioner.
Witnessing the slaying of kinsmen while powerless to prevent it.
Generator: title
Gryphonslinger
Generator: Book Titles
History of Hassitic Architecture, by Care Carhan the Magnificent
Generator: QuestGen
Grimald Shortbreath the Architect (impulsive elder high elf male, quiet) sends party to talk to Duryaith the Messenger (tender short teen dwarven male, gap-toothed).
Duryaith the Messenger (tender short teen dwarven male, gap-toothed) gives party heavy ballista.
Heavy ballista needs to be used at forgotten mansion in swamp.
Michelle Proulx - Author 