I know I said I was busy packing and moving to Halifax, but I just stumbled across this one star review of Hush Hush and I had to share it because it’s so stupid. Here it is:
This book was for my daughter’s summer reading. She is still not done with it but hates reading. I’m sure the book is a good book but just not something that I’m interested in. I really didn’t rate it farely since I haven’t read it.
Who the hell leaves a one star review for a book they admittedly haven’t read and have no intention of reading? She says at the end that she didn’t rate it fairly, which is at least an attempt at sanity, but why on earth would she leave a review at all? Grrrrrrr.
Just needed to share this insanity. That is all.
Unrelated media of the day:
I’m currently in love with this song …
Michelle Proulx - Author 
Why review a book you haven’t even read? Someone with too much time on their hands perhaps? The mind boggles!
The assumption I’m forced to conclude is Amazon sent her one of those “remember to review!” emails, and she thought she had to review the book even though she hadn’t read it, so she bluffed it as best she could. That being said, she should REALLY know better!
Reblogged this on newauthoronline and commented:
One of the silliest reviews I have ever read.
What nonsense. I had a review on Goodreads that said, “Book I wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole, haven’t read, and have no intention of reading.” Seriously?
I almost wish there was a little quiz that you had to successfully complete before you could rate the book — like, if you want to review Harry Potter, you have to successfully answer the question: Name one of the challenges guarding the Philosopher’s Stone. Something easy, but that you wouldn’t know if you hadn’t read it. That way silly things like this wouldn’t happen.
And I just posted about Amazon testing the star only ratings….weird. I thought i was going to like it…now I’m not so sure.
…Wow. I cannot even fathom the thought process behind that. I… I’ve got nothing.
People be silly.
People do that to science books all the time (“This was written by the Devil” and so on).
Yeah, well at least with those types of reviews you can just glance at them and go “Oh yeah, another crazy, move on”. Whereas with this you have to read the whole thing and think it through before you can conclude what the heck is wrong with the person who wrote the review.
I enjoy the one-star reviews from people who are mad because the item was out of stock and had to be backordered. Oh, people.
My head hurts. Her daughter was reading it. Her daughter hates reading, so is procrastinating. So this person jumps on Amazon to 1-star the book, which she has not read. So the rating is more because the book couldn’t make a reader out of her daughter? I think that’s what I’m translating this too. Not sure if this is better or worse than those reviews that 1-star something for the long shipping time.
That’s why I think there should be some system wherein stupid reviews like this are automatically taken down. Like, if the review contains the phrase “didn’t read”, the review just doesn’t post at all.
That would be nice, but I guess there is a benefit. Reviews like that can make people curious.
Haha, that’s brutal! Is your book on amazon?
It is! Somewhere … ah! Here: http://www.amazon.com/Imminent-Danger-How-Straight-into/dp/147596546X/ref=la_B00B5G0N9Q_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1409081542&sr=1-1
It does not currently have any silly 1 star reviews, although I continue to hold out hope 🙂
Great, I’m going to have to check it out and get you a much better review asap!
Huzzah!!!
I have heard negative things about Hush Hush, but even so, I would not review it without reading it! That just screams unfair!
I personally didn’t like the book, but I did read the whole thing before reviewing, lol. Some people!
Another insane review for my collection…
That’s bad … but as far as I’m concerned it is equaled by the one star reviews given because the book arrived later than the reader anticipated. It’s amazing how many of those are and it appears Amazon does nothing to try to delete them.
I think Amazon needs an auto search function on reviews. So if the review contains any variations on “shipping took forever” or “didn’t read the book”, the review just auto-deletes.
That would be too easy. Much better to delete favorable reviews because their algorithms have calculated that the reviewer knew the author in 4th grade. Unfortunately, the algorithms do not know that the acquaintance in 4th grade was made as a result of a fight in the playground where the reviewer got the best of the author. Or that, later, the author stole the reviewer’s girlfriend because she was damn hot! But, then the reviewer experienced great success and got the girl back. And the author wrote this story about some things and the reviewer found it all those years later and wrote a review because he wanted to.
So what we really need is a fleet of Amazon private investigators who analyze every single review posted for subtle nuances and personal biases toward the author. The private investigators would then, if they suspected foul play, set out in their PI-copter to the offending reviewer’s household and brutally beat said reviewer until they revealed the truth of their wrongdoing.
I think so. I would suggest that these offensive reviewers be removed to Guantanamo.
People do that to science books all the time
At least people who are buying science books are (presumably) smart enough to disregard reviews like that 🙂
Wow … interesting take on literature. I like the self-criticism of “I really didn’t rate it fairly” – well … then do?
Unrelated media: absolutely head over heels for that song too! Must get to the cinema and watch the film soon 🙂
When I first heard the song, I thought she was saying Boom Snap, which didn’t make a heckuva lot of sense. Then I looked up the lyrics and sanity dawned. Twas a glorious day.
Tell her you want your oxygen back!
I have a feeling if I tried that, she’d respond with an email saying, “Hi, I got your request, but sorry I didn’t have time to read it, so I’m going to post a review on your blog saying that you suck.”
Unfortunately, the world is populated with all types.
As my mother always says, different people are different.
Lorelei, my editor is also an author. She got a spiteful one-star review because Amazon screwed up and never delivered the book to the customer. So, Lorelei goes ahead and pays out of her own pocket to have a fresh copy delivered to the person. The reviewer never changed the review, nor did she acknowledge the gesture.
Mind you, I’ve got a crazy 1* review for Schism. The reviewer rants on about how bad the book was, then says she gave up when she read about the giants. There are no giants in any of my books, so to this day, I wonder… Amazingly enough, she hated the book (and, presumably, the giants) so much that she posted her review on every single Amazon store – from the UK to India!
You know, at least with reviews like that, they hurt your rating, but they don’t hurt you personally as an author. Receiving an actual one star rating sucks, because it means someone out there really did read your book, and they hated it, and that’s an awful feeling. At least with these you know it’s just people being stupid.
I love your silver lining-finding skills! 🙂
This makes me mad. Not the first time I’ve seen similar reviews. If you haven’t read the book DON’T LEAVE A REVIEW!!
I feel better now 🙂
A little ranting does a lot of good for the soul.
I’m iffy on rating a book you didn’t finish, but a book you didn’t read at all? There’s definitely no need–and no justification–for a review. It’s like the people who give five stars to a book that hasn’t come out yet–you’re messing with the system! Stop it!
Some people just want to watch the internet burn.
I just can’t even.
Lol. Also, your comment reminded me of a joke my brother told me. Check it:
Three girls walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says to a lady sitting at the counter, “Why do girls always walk in threes or fives, but never twos or fours?” “Why?” the lady asks. “Because they just can’t even.”
HA! Brilliant!
By the way, your blog is looking great, Michelle! If the pic up top is any indication you are well on your way in professional author things, too! 🙂
Thanks! The pic is from last summer, during which I was neck deep in professional author activities. They’ve slowed down since, as I’ve been slightly occupied with hauling all my belongings halfway across the country. But I’m hoping to start up again soon 🙂
Well all the best with them, and CONGRATS on your move!!!
Its experiences like this – like going to Ministry of Transportation, or reading a Youtube comment section – that justifies misanthropy.
Well, maybe not “justifies” — clarifies the reasoning behind, perhaps? 🙂