Spam comments are the best!

Quick Sunday check-in time! I found this comment waiting on one of my posts when I logged in this morning … and as far as spam comments poorly translated into English go, this one’s pretty fantastic. Read and enjoy!

Great beat ! I would like to apprentice at the same time as you amend your site, how
can i subscribe for a blog website? The account aided me a appropriate deal.
I were tiny bit acquainted of this your broadcast offered
bright transparent idea

As near as I can tell, the individual in question enjoyed the rhythm of the post, he is seeking an apprenticeship in the lucrative field of blogging, he recently got a very good deal from “The Account” (supervillain?), and he feels my ideas are very clever, but also rather see-through.

What’s the best spam comment you’ve ever gotten?

 

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Categories: Random | Tags: , , , | 22 Comments

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22 thoughts on “Spam comments are the best!

  1. Sometimes I get the, “I like your photo, let’s talk” comment. I just sigh. Mother of two, third grade teacher, Christian fiction writer…what exactly on that list makes me sound like the type that wants to start up a private conversation with a man? Errgh.

    • Hahaha. Well, points to them for effort? Lol. A while ago, I got a comment reading only “your cute”. That’s it. No follow-up. I decided to take it as a compliment and move on, because really, what else are you supposed to do with a statement like that? πŸ™‚

  2. I like the spam comments where they are basically slagging you off!

    I had one badly asking whether the odd image would improve the post. The post they commented on had three pictures on it!

  3. Bright transparent idea, indeed πŸ˜‰ Whenever I google translate the Mandarin of my friends (as witnessed on facebook) to english, I usually get beautiful and cryptic messages.
    As for spam – that in itself is mostly annoying, but I loved what spamusement.com did with it. Too bad the website hasn’t updated in ages. Still, the old stuff is brilliant, if you haven’t already seen it.

    • I haven’t heard of that site! I’ll check it out πŸ™‚

      That was actually one of the things I loved about teaching English in Korea — reading my students’ essays. I could always understand what they were trying to say, but the way they sometimes said it was just so … poetic. Same for when you translate the lyrics of a foreign song into English. There’s just something about the phrasing that makes you sit back and go “Huh. What a beautiful way to say that.”

      • So what’s the verdict on spamusement.com then? My favourites (from memory, haven’t looked at them in a while) were “we have your medicine”, “make your c*ck into a hammer” and “I must get this off my chest before I explode”.

        • Hahaha I love “I have to get this off my chest before I explode” — that poor guy just chilling on his armchair with a bomb ticking down on his stomach … yikes.

  4. I rarely go into the spam email but when I remember to check it I usually get a good laugh or at least a raise of my eyebrow πŸ™‚

    • Hahaha. And sometimes you just kind of stare at it and can’t decide what to think because it’s so completely absurd. The best part is that the spam filter didn’t actually catch the comment I shared in this post — tsk tsk, spam filter.

  5. This was from today’s catch:

    “In the beginning, his hands were explored into natural cover with the true spirit, still kept understanding the principle and structure of descending this natural cover first and at least known how it is revolved under the ordering about of Hu. Connect down and then is the test that he truely starts cracking, he is 1.1 drops of observe flame energy fluxion of speed, meticulous of will some changed to all imitate with the brain, a variety seem the computer copy similar, make duplicate in his brain.”

    I get these odd little gems all the time, and I wonder if I can use them in my books. I mean, it really does read like someone who has had his or her brain fried by contact with an Outsider…

    • You should *absolutely* use that in your book. It sounds like someone reciting the text from some holy book about … I don’t know, cyborgs or something. Way better than my spam comment! I’m jealous.

  6. I just checked, and I have one that says “keep up the good work fellows.”

  7. Pingback: Blender (And A Random Question) | mishaburnett

  8. Mine are always in a language I don’t speak πŸ˜›

    • Hahaha. That’s when you have the awesome chance to break out Google Translate and see what hilarity results from the translated text. I also like when people follow my blog, and when I check out their blog to see what they write about, I find it written in a foreign language. Which makes me wonder if they actually speak English, and just write in a different language … or maybe they just like the pictures in my posts and don’t read the words? Lol.

    • I’ve received one or two spam comments like that. I put one through Google Translate before, but I forgot what it was even trying to say. Most of mine, though, relate to things about Search Engine Optimization-ing-izing!

      (Also, that Avatar has the look of NWN…)

  9. First of all, that was HIGH-larious! πŸ˜€ Your beats are some of the best I’ve ever heard! πŸ˜‰

    Anyway, I don’t know if I have any funny ones, but I did get a really bizarre one a while back that read, “I’ve had a crush on you for awhile but I couldn’t admit it.. I took a picture of your name written on my body and put it here: [spam site].” This was a completely new flavor of creepy IMO.

    • See, what I want to know now is what they used to write your name on their body. Was it something fairly normal, like pen, or did they go a bit more hardcore — Tattoo? Blood? Blood of the INNOCENT?

      • Ha! Maybe so! I would hope they were a bit more creative… something along the lines of henna ink or egg dye. πŸ˜›

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