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Writing Tip: Dialogue Tag DOs and DON’Ts

August 15, 2014 10:41 AM

Today we’re talking about dialogue tags! I already rambled about them in a previous post, but I’m going to ramble some more about them now, so prepare yourself.

 

What is a dialogue tag?

It’s the short phrase you stick after a line of dialogue — i.e., “he said”, “she said”, etc.

 

Simple dialogue tag

Observe the following sentence:

“I love your socks,” he said.

That’s a simple dialogue tag — sentence of dialogue, followed by a dialogue tag. Here are some more:

“Your face is on fire!” she said.

“Are you sure?” he said.

Note:

 

Dialogue tag before dialogue

Observe:

Staring at her beautiful face, he said, “I’d like to lick your nose.”

So here we’re reversing the order of dialogue and dialogue tag. Note:

 

Dialogue tag in between two pieces of dialogue

Observe:

“How are you doing?” he asked. “Isn’t the weather grand?”

“I wish I could agree with you,” she said, “but I have a ferret up my nose.”

Here we have two variations of “dialogue tag between two pieces of dialogue”. In the first example, we’ve got dialogue with a complete sentence (How are you doing?), and then a second complete sentence of dialogue (Isn’t the weather grand?). Since these are both complete sentences, we put a period after “he asked”. In the second example, the second bit of dialogue is continuing the first bit of dialogue, thus we stick a comma after “she said” to indicate the sentence is still on-going.

 

Using a descriptive sentence instead of a dialogue tag

Observe:

Tracy cleared her throat. “Excuse me, can I please have one albatross-egg omelette, shaken not stirred?”

So here we know that Tracy is speaking, since the first sentence implies fairly heavily that she’s the one talking. It’s not a dialogue tag, because it’s not describing how she’s talking — you can “say”, or “exclaim”, or even “screech” out a sentence, but you certainly can’t “clear your throat” a sentence.

You can also stick the descriptive sentence after the dialogue:

“Where are you going?” Mary pouted at Roger, hoping he would come back and stay with her forever.

Again, “Mary pouted” isn’t a dialogue tag, because you can’t “pout” a sentence. It’s a sentence unrelated to the dialogue, although it still indicates she’s the one talking.

Third example, putting a descriptive sentence between two dialogues:

“My name is Jim.” I’m lying through my teeth, but she doesn’t need to know that. “What’s your name?”

Note:

“Hey Bob,” I shake his hand, “what’s cooking?”

 

In conclusion …

Dialogue can be really confusing to punctuate!

 

Semi-related media of the day:

In this case, the “problem” referred to in the song is “punctuation rules for dialogue and dialogue tags”.

Posted by Michelle Proulx

Categories: Writing

Tags: , ,

41 Responses to “Writing Tip: Dialogue Tag DOs and DON’Ts”

  1. Speech tags are sometimes termed ‘apositive clause’ in the more arcane of grammar manuals.

    Which is not to be confused with ‘a positive clause’, which is a section of a sentence used to accurately describe me.

    By Dave Higgins on August 15, 2014 at 10:48 AM

    1. I bow to your grammar guru wisdom 🙂

      By Michelle Proulx on August 15, 2014 at 11:13 AM

  2. I want to know more about the girl with the ferret up her nose.

    By coldhandboyack on August 15, 2014 at 10:49 AM

    1. She doesn’t like to talk about it.

      By Michelle Proulx on August 15, 2014 at 11:13 AM

  3. Great explanation for a common headache. Off topic, but why is that I watch a minute of this video and it’s suggesting everything by the singers? Then I watch 3 AC/DC music videos in a row and it doesn’t change the suggestions at all. Makes no sense.

    By Charles Yallowitz on August 15, 2014 at 10:50 AM

    1. Youtube is a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a flaky pie crust.

      By Michelle Proulx on August 15, 2014 at 11:14 AM

      1. And smells of elderberries and gym socks.

        By Charles Yallowitz on August 15, 2014 at 11:32 AM

        1. And kittens. So, so many kittens!

          By Nicholas C. Rossis on August 15, 2014 at 12:36 PM

          1. Can’t forget the kittens. This is the Internet after all.

            By Charles Yallowitz on August 15, 2014 at 12:44 PM

  4. Thanks for the great post. I have a question regarding use of elipses in this context. Is the following correct,

    “Hey Bob, is that…” My voice trails off as I notice the tiny dinosaur on his shoulder. “A dinosaur?”

    or would you need:

    “Hey Bob, is that…” My voice trails off as I notice the tiny dinosaur on his shoulder. “…A dinosaur?”

    By Nicholas C. Rossis on August 15, 2014 at 12:40 PM

    1. The second would be accurate, because “trailing off” describes what happens after the words spoken, not how the words are spoken.

      By MishaBurnett on August 15, 2014 at 1:05 PM

      1. Thanks! In which case the capital A after the second elipsis is correct?

        By Nicholas C. Rossis on August 15, 2014 at 1:07 PM

    2. Hmmm … tricky. I’d go with “…a dinosaur?” — but I’m not really an expert on ellipses, so don’t take my word 100% for that.

      By Michelle Proulx on August 15, 2014 at 1:12 PM

      1. Tricky is my middle name… Thanks! 🙂

        By Nicholas C. Rossis on August 15, 2014 at 1:15 PM

  5. I think you’re my new favorite person in the whole wide world.

    By kingmidget on August 15, 2014 at 3:09 PM

    1. That’s a bit of an extreme reaction to a post about dialogue tags, but thank you nonetheless 🙂

      By Michelle Proulx on August 15, 2014 at 3:18 PM

      1. Ay carumba. I’ve read and edited probably 15-20 manuscripts over the past year and a half and it’s amazing how many other writers don’t know the basics of punctuation within dialogue. It’s these kind of little details that self-published authors need to get right, otherwise they lose credibility out there in the real world. That’s why you are my new favorite person in the whole wide world. At least for today.

        By kingmidget on August 15, 2014 at 9:14 PM

        1. Ah! In that case, I gladly accept your designation, and shall cherish this honor for the rest of the day.

          By Michelle Proulx on August 15, 2014 at 11:08 PM

  6. I had to laugh at some of your examples. 🙂 I’ve taught this lesson for years, and I still like the silliness of it all.

    By Dawn Reno Langley on August 15, 2014 at 3:59 PM

    1. I make learning fun!

      Hehehe 😀

      By Michelle Proulx on August 15, 2014 at 4:35 PM

  7. Nice examples. 🙂

    By chrismcmullen on August 15, 2014 at 9:57 PM

    1. Haha thanks 😀

      By Michelle Proulx on August 15, 2014 at 11:09 PM

  8. Funny — I’m always inclined to quibble with writing rules like “Never start a novel with weather,” or “Kill your darlings.” (What — ALL of them?). But the niceties of punctuation in dialogue — it’s important to get those right if you want to maintain your writer’s cred. You did a great job of explaining it all, and those examples are memorable!

    By Audrey Driscoll on August 15, 2014 at 11:15 PM

    1. Thanks 🙂 And there are always ways you can play around with this kind of thing — unorthodox but acceptable dialogue tags, adding in ellipses and dashes to bungle things up, etc. — but at the end of the day you have to have SOME semblance of grammatical competence in order to produce something publish-worthy.

      By Michelle Proulx on August 15, 2014 at 11:17 PM

  9. This post saved my life! At first, I laughed about at the “face on fire” example. Then I said, “But what if MY face is on fire?” So I looked in the mirror, and, holy crap, it was. I ran to my chocolate soy fondue fountain and used it to extinguish the flames (plus I was a bit thirsty anyway).

    All I can say, Michelle, is “Thank you.”

    Well, I can also say, “Would you consider marrying an otter?”

    By ericjbaker on August 16, 2014 at 10:58 AM

    1. But to say such a thing would be very silly indeed, and there’s no place for silliness in my United Kingdom of Semi-Rotten Bananas Pending Further Refrigeration.

      By Michelle Proulx on August 17, 2014 at 9:05 AM

      1. In light of this new information, everything I said has been rendered nonsensical. You did not save my life, I did not extinguish flames in a soy fountain, and my face could still be on fire. But mirrors have been rendered non-existent by this new information as well, so I’ll never know.

        Damn you, Proulx, with your non-intuitive sequence of letters in your last name!

        By ericjbaker on August 17, 2014 at 10:45 AM

        1. I enjoy you. You may stay.

          By Michelle Proulx on August 17, 2014 at 1:14 PM

  10. If you ever want to read something that makes you go blind/wish you were, the Eye of Argon breaks every dialogue tag rule you’ve ever known. (It’s something of a cult classic… I actually had to buy myself a copy just because it was so good/bad).

    An example from the book (pg. 60, chapter 6):

    “Aye! The ways of our civilization are in many ways warped and distorted, but what is your calling,” she queried, bustily?

    Yes, that question mark is at the end of the dialogue tag. And I’ve no idea how you query -anything- bustily, but it still makes for some interesting images. Especially when you stop every so often and wonder why the author was asking you whether or not someone asked something.

    By mpskydog on August 18, 2014 at 6:39 PM

    1. That sounds absolutely fantastic. I must read it immediately.

      By Michelle Proulx on August 18, 2014 at 6:54 PM

  11. Reblogged this on chrismcmullen and commented:
    Some good examples with dialog tags.

    By chrismcmullen on August 19, 2014 at 1:35 PM

  12. Nice and helpful, I’m usually pretty good with these, but the descriptive sentences being handled differently than dialogue tags, in regards to punctuation, is one of those things that I always stumble over!

    By eclecticalli on August 19, 2014 at 1:51 PM

    1. Yeah, they’re tough — especially because a lot of authors will use them interchangeably with dialogue tags, which is technically correct but stylistically fun, so it gets really confusing.

      By Michelle Proulx on August 19, 2014 at 8:43 PM

  13. “he said” or “she said” can be used too often (I.E. it is not required when it is clear who is doing the speaking.

    By drewdog2060drewdog2060 on August 19, 2014 at 4:32 PM

    1. True enough. And then there’s cases where there are too many strings of dialogue with no tags, and you don’t have a clue who’s speaking and have to just bluff it.

      By Michelle Proulx on August 19, 2014 at 8:44 PM

  14. Reblogged this on theowlladyblog.

    By theowllady on August 19, 2014 at 5:47 PM

  15. Reblogged this on MARSocial Author Business Enhancement Interviews.

    By theowllady on August 19, 2014 at 5:48 PM

  16. Reblogged this on The Way of the Storyteller:.

    By Ryan M. Church on August 19, 2014 at 8:10 PM

  17. One thing that seriously annoys me when it comes to dialogue tags is when writers, in their attempt to avoid filling their books with too much “said”, and instead of using creative methods like some of what you provided above, use a lot of other speech tags like “muttered, growled, protested, gasped, etc.” to the point where it just seems that they’re trying way too hard to avoid “said” and it just becomes irksome. =/

    By Zen A. on August 20, 2014 at 11:18 PM

    1. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she expostulated.

      By Michelle Proulx on August 20, 2014 at 11:20 PM

      1. Haha, yes, exactly! Also, thank you for that new word. =D

        By Zen A. on August 20, 2014 at 11:23 PM

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